WEBVTT
00:00:00.059 --> 00:00:01.266
That's what altar is.
00:00:01.266 --> 00:00:06.511
Yeah, it is us altering our perception of dementia, altering our attitude toward dementia.
00:00:06.721 --> 00:00:08.448
This is me snapping my fingers, okay.
00:00:09.682 --> 00:00:10.807
And that's what altar is.
00:00:10.807 --> 00:00:12.848
So we are playing off the altar of the church.
00:00:12.848 --> 00:00:20.006
Come to the altar, yes, but also let's alter our perception in the black community so we don't be so judgmental.
00:00:20.006 --> 00:00:24.362
We understand and we're like, oh, how can I help?
00:00:24.362 --> 00:00:30.388
Or let me just help, don't even ask how to help, let me just okay, let me do that.
00:00:30.388 --> 00:00:35.392
And that's what we're working toward and that's why we're here this evening.
00:00:35.392 --> 00:00:42.476
We got the power of the pulpit, so we have faith leaders talking about how important it is, and then you brought up how people are investing.
00:00:42.476 --> 00:00:50.661
I've got to let people know that when you're doing God's work, you're letting Him order your steps and you're serving His people.
00:00:50.661 --> 00:00:52.408
He will make provision.
00:00:52.408 --> 00:00:55.331
How many times we've heard that in a sermon?
00:00:55.331 --> 00:00:58.985
And I'm here to say that it actually is true Parenting Up.
00:00:59.310 --> 00:01:07.787
Caregiving Adventures with comedian Jay Smiles is the intense journey of unexpectedly being fully responsible for my mama.
00:01:07.787 --> 00:01:19.367
For over a decade I've been chipping away at the unknown, advocating for her and pushing Alzheimer's awareness on anyone and anything with a heartbeat.
00:01:19.367 --> 00:01:23.344
Spoiler alert this shit is heavy.
00:01:23.344 --> 00:01:25.486
That's why I started doing comedy.
00:01:25.486 --> 00:01:27.507
So be ready for the jokes.
00:01:28.340 --> 00:01:35.290
Caregiver newbies, ogs and village members just willing to prop up a caregiver.
00:01:35.290 --> 00:01:37.707
You are in the right place.
00:01:37.707 --> 00:01:40.795
Hi, this is Betty.
00:01:40.795 --> 00:01:46.191
I hope you enjoy my daughter's podcast.
00:01:46.191 --> 00:01:47.433
Is that okay?
00:01:52.521 --> 00:01:55.411
Today's supporter shout out comes from Instagram.
00:01:55.411 --> 00:01:58.489
Dst 37, rebel.
00:01:58.489 --> 00:02:05.031
She be so serious about reading her magazines.
00:02:05.031 --> 00:02:07.528
Emoji with all the kissy hearts.
00:02:07.528 --> 00:02:11.146
I assume that she is Zetty.
00:02:11.146 --> 00:02:14.645
Yeah, yeah, she is.
00:02:14.645 --> 00:02:17.388
And what's crazy y'all is?
00:02:17.388 --> 00:02:24.871
You know she ain't really reading out loud, no more, but that baby remembers loving to read.
00:02:24.871 --> 00:02:28.781
Thank you, dst.
00:02:28.781 --> 00:02:30.645
If you want to receive a supportive shout out, you know what to do.
00:02:30.645 --> 00:02:36.860
Leave a review Apple podcast, youtube or Instagram.
00:02:36.860 --> 00:02:41.028
We are parenting up everywhere, thank you.
00:02:41.790 --> 00:02:46.741
Today's episode altering the perception of caregivers and dementia.
00:02:46.741 --> 00:03:45.378
Thank you.
00:03:45.378 --> 00:03:46.838
What's up parenting parents and other family.
00:03:46.838 --> 00:03:53.960
Once again, it ain't me, but we have outdone ourselves as a community.
00:03:53.960 --> 00:04:02.935
It is the dementia gods trying to say we know it's hard, but we are going to give you all a reason to smile and a reason to keep going.
00:04:03.820 --> 00:04:14.009
I ain't do it, but some kind of way I am in right in the middle of the altar conference convention.
00:04:14.009 --> 00:04:21.728
I am sitting here with the founder, the one and only Dr Faye Ron Epps.
00:04:21.728 --> 00:04:22.728
Now let me tell you something.
00:04:22.728 --> 00:04:26.014
She got so many commas behind her name.
00:04:26.014 --> 00:04:28.689
I ain't going to mess around and get that thing out of order.
00:04:28.689 --> 00:04:32.680
My grandmama told me you can't mess up people's schooling, okay.
00:04:32.680 --> 00:04:34.988
So I'm going to just tell y'all to go look her up.
00:04:34.988 --> 00:04:36.024
But this is the thing.
00:04:36.024 --> 00:04:43.454
She has research behind her and she has community activists behind her.
00:04:43.454 --> 00:04:48.451
She got the government M-I-N-T behind her.
00:04:48.451 --> 00:04:50.887
She got corporate money behind her.
00:04:50.887 --> 00:04:53.348
She got hip-hop artists behind her.
00:04:53.348 --> 00:04:59.086
She got civil rights organizations behind her and she ain't even on a cane.
00:04:59.086 --> 00:04:59.970
Y'all feel what I'm saying.
00:04:59.970 --> 00:05:06.391
She ain't no old legacy purse, this baby about 18, 18, 19 years old.
00:05:06.391 --> 00:05:08.240
She got baby skin.
00:05:08.240 --> 00:05:10.584
Get some shea butter on here.
00:05:10.584 --> 00:05:11.086
I smell.
00:05:11.125 --> 00:05:22.048
it ain't no white diamonds, okay I can't dr x how you doing honey, I can't, I can't I'm doing good.
00:05:22.048 --> 00:05:22.709
Thank.
00:05:22.709 --> 00:05:24.672
And did you say a convention?
00:05:24.672 --> 00:05:26.874
Wow, that's just a little meaning.
00:05:27.115 --> 00:05:28.516
No, it ain't you called it a convention?
00:05:28.536 --> 00:05:28.976
No, it ain't.
00:05:29.259 --> 00:05:30.362
Let me tell you why I called it a convention.
00:05:30.362 --> 00:05:32.007
Tell me she can be humble.
00:05:32.007 --> 00:05:41.851
I ain't got to be humble Because, since it's doing it in the middle of the world being on fire, in the middle of listen, for legacy's sake, it is 2025.
00:05:41.851 --> 00:05:43.937
It's 2025.
00:05:43.937 --> 00:05:50.341
The government is firing people and slashing things.
00:05:50.341 --> 00:05:51.242
Talking about some ain't no diversity.
00:05:51.242 --> 00:06:18.939
I was put on a cool shuttle to go from the exhibit registration over to where we are right now government and academic and corporate sponsors, front and center and happy as you know what to be sponsoring this convention.
00:06:18.939 --> 00:06:32.834
Because I saw bags when you get, I got a badge on, and when you have a bag with goodies in it, and there is a shuttle because there are multiple points.
00:06:33.701 --> 00:06:44.495
And then you got in, I got into this particular site and there are signs, y'all colorful signs, saying if you go into this session, go left.
00:06:44.495 --> 00:06:46.838
If you go into this session, go left.
00:06:46.838 --> 00:06:47.639
If you go into this session, go upstairs.
00:06:47.639 --> 00:06:50.735
If you go into the third session, go to the right.
00:06:50.735 --> 00:06:53.531
Okay, and we got multiple Bathrooms, y'all.
00:06:53.531 --> 00:06:55.495
This ain't even part Of the interview, drl.
00:06:55.495 --> 00:07:01.673
This just me trying to prove to these people that we at a convention Alright, I'm going to receive it.
00:07:01.802 --> 00:07:02.819
I'm going to receive it.
00:07:04.704 --> 00:07:07.833
We'll talk offline about you and your convention.
00:07:07.833 --> 00:07:10.519
Okay, all right, okay, anyway, but it is a convention.
00:07:10.519 --> 00:07:20.588
So I am so honored that I was able to steal you away a little bit in the midst of such a phenomenal event.
00:07:20.588 --> 00:07:25.646
It is alter, okay, on your shirt it says dementia summit.
00:07:25.646 --> 00:07:27.492
That's bigger than a convention.
00:07:27.492 --> 00:07:31.113
So play me All right, anyway, we're going, I'm gonna let this go.
00:07:31.113 --> 00:07:33.141
Okay, okay, it's a summit convention.
00:07:33.141 --> 00:07:35.949
All right Now, top that I don't know.
00:07:35.949 --> 00:07:37.312
Ain't nobody had a summit convention?
00:07:37.312 --> 00:07:39.341
All right Now.
00:07:39.341 --> 00:07:49.494
What is so magical to me about you is that you have a PhD in nursing.
00:07:49.494 --> 00:07:50.194
Is that correct?
00:07:50.194 --> 00:07:54.307
Yes, okay, and y'all, I swear she looked 12.
00:07:54.307 --> 00:07:58.824
I don't know how she got out of that school and but anyway, she has a PhD in nursing.
00:07:58.824 --> 00:08:14.555
And you have put your life's work into the intersection of caregiving the underserved population and the faith community.
00:08:14.555 --> 00:08:22.211
Yes, and some kind of way you have gotten mainstream to give you money to do it.
00:08:22.211 --> 00:08:30.023
Yes, do tell, do tell, dear Dr Epps, do tell.
00:08:30.023 --> 00:08:35.732
How did you have the courage to tell that dream out loud?
00:08:36.053 --> 00:08:42.231
Yeah, well, you know, thank you for bringing that up because I have to just tell you it's nothing but God it really is.
00:08:42.231 --> 00:08:49.971
It's nothing but Him Because when I started off with my schooling I am a woman of faith that has been very constant in my rearing.
00:08:49.971 --> 00:08:51.053
It's in my family.
00:08:51.053 --> 00:08:55.610
And when I wanted to do my research studies I wanted to look at religiosity.
00:08:55.610 --> 00:08:56.559
I wanted to study it more.
00:08:56.559 --> 00:08:59.583
I was interested why I got put out of church.
00:08:59.583 --> 00:09:01.086
Because I had stockings on right.
00:09:01.086 --> 00:09:02.727
I mean, I didn't have stockings on.
00:09:02.727 --> 00:09:05.692
I should say you know all that judging that goes on in church.
00:09:05.692 --> 00:09:07.654
I just really wanted to just dig into it.
00:09:07.654 --> 00:09:12.207
But people kept on saying no one's going to give you money for studying religion.
00:09:12.207 --> 00:09:14.533
No one cares about religion.
00:09:14.533 --> 00:09:16.423
Caregiving was big in my family.
00:09:16.423 --> 00:09:22.640
No one cares about religion, the caregiver's religion and their faith and how that plays.
00:09:22.640 --> 00:09:26.322
Everyone just kept on putting it off and so I followed them.
00:09:26.322 --> 00:09:29.442
I said, okay, no one cares, let me go over here and do this.
00:09:29.442 --> 00:09:36.285
But I knew one thing I always want to do work in my community and that's with the black community.
00:09:36.285 --> 00:09:40.587
So it doesn't matter what you research, what you do, faith is going to come out Church, the pastor.
00:09:40.587 --> 00:09:42.129
It's going to come out in their responses.
00:09:42.129 --> 00:09:43.908
It's going to come out Church the pastor.
00:09:43.908 --> 00:09:45.830
It's going to come out in their responses.
00:09:45.830 --> 00:09:47.331
It's going to come out in their stories.
00:09:47.331 --> 00:09:54.114
And at that point I couldn't ignore it and I had to just step out on my faith and be like I hear you, god.
00:09:54.114 --> 00:09:57.955
I have to say this is what I'm going to do in my professional role.
00:09:57.955 --> 00:10:14.308
I am going to really explore how I can make sure that these caregivers are still being spiritually supported, how those persons living with dementia can still be spiritually supported, what faith-based interventions I can develop.
00:10:14.308 --> 00:10:15.633
And I had someone at Georgia State, as a matter of fact.
00:10:15.633 --> 00:10:17.322
She said how did you get this funded?
00:10:17.322 --> 00:10:21.013
You got a whole faith hat was the name of my intervention.
00:10:21.013 --> 00:10:36.206
But the thing is, god gave me the gift of how to highlight health outcomes, because that's what people are interested in, and they forgot they read about all that religion and faith by the time they got to their health outcomes.
00:10:36.206 --> 00:10:39.943
And here we are, and so that's how that research got started.
00:10:40.043 --> 00:10:44.883
And as I started working with families and in the community, I heard from the community.
00:10:44.883 --> 00:10:47.368
I moved to Atlanta in 2016.
00:10:47.368 --> 00:10:48.610
They said start with the church.
00:10:48.610 --> 00:10:52.601
I was like what Start with the church?
00:10:52.601 --> 00:10:55.145
My bishop, who will be speaking during this keynote this evening.
00:10:55.145 --> 00:10:58.331
He said start a ministry.
00:10:58.331 --> 00:10:59.575
What?
00:10:59.575 --> 00:11:02.525
No, no, no.
00:11:02.525 --> 00:11:13.308
You know, because I am that person that sits on a pew, let me pay my little money and maybe pledge money, tithe money, I don't know, but I'm gonna pay my little money and I'm gonna leave before even he says amen at the end.
00:11:13.308 --> 00:11:17.644
I'm out the door in the car and for him to say, no, you need to start a ministry.
00:11:17.644 --> 00:11:23.662
And the whole thing is I was like well, what ministry I start because I don't get to church on time?
00:11:23.662 --> 00:11:25.505
Can't be, usher, right, can't be.
00:11:25.505 --> 00:11:28.350
No, greeter, start Because I don't get to church on time.
00:11:28.370 --> 00:11:28.951
Can't be usher right?
00:11:28.951 --> 00:11:29.653
Can't be no greeter.
00:11:29.653 --> 00:11:31.216
Come on now, I don't sing.
00:11:31.216 --> 00:11:32.259
Tell me this, dr Elsie.
00:11:32.259 --> 00:11:33.542
Tell the truth, how long did?
00:11:33.562 --> 00:11:34.725
you fight that I'm not going to start that ministry.
00:11:34.725 --> 00:11:35.287
You know what?
00:11:35.287 --> 00:11:36.389
It wasn't that long.
00:11:36.389 --> 00:11:42.427
It wasn't Because that evening when he told me that and he asked me, he said well, what do you do?
00:11:42.427 --> 00:11:49.456
Because I had a whole list of things I don't do and I said I do older people and I started explaining about dementia and caregiving.
00:11:49.456 --> 00:11:54.014
He said, well, that's your ministry.
00:11:54.014 --> 00:12:04.827
And I just left puzzled and then when I went home I called some colleagues, ladies that I had met when I moved to Atlanta and I told them what he said and they say let's do this.
00:12:04.827 --> 00:12:07.523
And I was like, are y'all serious?
00:12:08.585 --> 00:12:13.663
And we put together a proposal and brought it back to my bishop and he said this is it.
00:12:13.663 --> 00:12:22.493
And it was just started off with us going out and educating, giving our time, educating the community about dementia and awareness, and it started off with three people.
00:12:22.493 --> 00:12:32.445
Next thing, you know, we had people all outside the door because they heard about it and they wanted to be part of this and it's all about responding to the community.
00:12:32.445 --> 00:12:44.469
And that's when I seen oh okay, this is it, this is the ministry, and it has really it has transformed and the reason it's transformed and I'll tell everybody that's listening.
00:12:44.469 --> 00:12:51.616
You have to listen to hear to be able to respond.
00:12:51.616 --> 00:12:57.308
And so when I'm out in the community, I'm talking to any family, any individual.
00:12:57.308 --> 00:12:59.793
I'm listening to hear and respond.
00:13:00.639 --> 00:13:05.110
And the altar program was created because of a response to a bishop.
00:13:05.110 --> 00:13:11.410
Bishop Aaron Lackey, after his education session, came to me he said so what I'm supposed to do with this?
00:13:11.410 --> 00:13:18.667
And I didn't even have an answer because I thought I was doing good, because I was just educating people, because that's what they told us Go out and educate.
00:13:18.687 --> 00:13:22.067
You got to educate and you're like Bishop you told me to educate.
00:13:22.067 --> 00:13:23.051
I got some folks.
00:13:23.051 --> 00:13:28.065
I'm educating him right here in Atlanta and okay, check, let me go on back to work.
00:13:28.065 --> 00:13:31.270
Yeah, and Bishop said uh-uh, what do we do?
00:13:31.270 --> 00:13:33.922
This thing has struck like fire, it's spreading.
00:13:34.761 --> 00:13:35.523
What's next?
00:13:35.523 --> 00:13:44.489
Yes, and that's how we created this full-fledged program, because I said, oh, I need to coach the faith leaders on how to respond to their parishioners.
00:13:44.710 --> 00:13:45.490
Okay, hold on now.
00:13:45.490 --> 00:13:46.711
Wait Now you.
00:13:46.711 --> 00:13:48.913
My granddaddy would say you're taking me too fast.
00:13:49.113 --> 00:13:51.674
Oh, okay, okay, Now we got to slow this down.
00:13:51.754 --> 00:13:55.657
All right, because you've been living in this and breathing it like oxygen.
00:13:55.657 --> 00:14:08.744
Yes, but for people in the Parent Up community, because our podcast look, we, we, the little podcast that could okay, we got folks all over the world, all over the world.
00:14:08.764 --> 00:14:17.248
We have listeners, that's right, so we got to take them slowly.
00:14:17.248 --> 00:14:47.461
A non getting to church on time, not wearing stockings person is going to tell the leaders in the black church, the good reverend and deaconesses, okay, how to do something in their congregations.
00:14:47.461 --> 00:14:48.864
Now we just got to sit with that.
00:14:48.864 --> 00:14:52.830
You're not supposed to be able to tell them nothing about nothing.
00:14:52.830 --> 00:14:59.938
I don't care what your expertise is, you can't touch their flock.
00:14:59.938 --> 00:15:09.942
All right, and that's why you have in a summit convention, ok, so I'm coming back to that, ok, ok, and y'all?
00:15:09.942 --> 00:15:11.571
I want to go in and stop for this for a second.
00:15:11.591 --> 00:15:13.360
There are people from all over this country.
00:15:13.360 --> 00:15:15.303
I was on my shuttle.
00:15:15.303 --> 00:15:19.552
I was sitting beside a speaker from Los Angeles.
00:15:19.552 --> 00:15:25.866
Now, you can't get much further from Atlanta than Los Angeles.
00:15:25.866 --> 00:15:31.495
Who's coming to this summit convention?
00:15:31.495 --> 00:15:51.996
Summit convention, yes, or the path that got this secret society Real.
00:15:51.996 --> 00:15:57.850
Talk, the African-American level of bishops and ordained people.
00:15:57.850 --> 00:15:59.653
They don't let anybody in.
00:15:59.653 --> 00:16:10.067
You got to have your stripes on how many years you've been in the pulpit before you can even get to the level of you can even be a visiting pastor.
00:16:10.067 --> 00:16:14.384
Yeah, how did you get them to let you do that?
00:16:16.528 --> 00:16:18.812
God can I just say there we go.
00:16:18.893 --> 00:16:20.201
But you know, no, what.
00:16:20.201 --> 00:16:24.019
Everything you're saying is what I felt in the beginning Like what in the world?
00:16:24.019 --> 00:16:24.923
How am I going to do this?
00:16:24.923 --> 00:16:40.244
Who's not intimidated by that senior pastor, the bishop, because you just talked about this society of them we have held all our life and we still I respect them, hold them, have that reverence toward them, whatever they say.
00:16:40.244 --> 00:16:44.370
That's what it is and that's how our parents they kind of followed them.
00:16:44.370 --> 00:16:50.231
So I was intimidated in the beginning, but I know what God laid on my heart.
00:16:50.231 --> 00:17:00.293
So when I showed up at Alliance meetings you can see it in my voice I was intimidated and nobody was listening to me.
00:17:00.793 --> 00:17:07.440
But the thing is me.
00:17:07.440 --> 00:17:10.628
But the thing is he put key people in these meetings, key leaders that did hear me, hear me mumble, and one Pastor, jakes.
00:17:10.628 --> 00:17:11.191
He came to me.
00:17:11.191 --> 00:17:23.925
He said now, everybody not going to hear you, they're not going to follow you, but they're going to have prophets out here that's going to see what you're trying to do and they're going to jump on and they're going to join this movement.
00:17:23.925 --> 00:17:25.587
And I was like what he said?
00:17:25.587 --> 00:17:29.613
So don't worry about those that don't open up their door, that don't respond to you.
00:17:29.613 --> 00:17:30.653
He said that's all right.
00:17:30.994 --> 00:17:40.742
They're going to come, but there's people like me that are ready to do this work and I was like, oh OK, so that's one pastor.
00:17:40.782 --> 00:17:44.365
And then once I looked at it like that and I wasn't expecting.
00:17:44.365 --> 00:17:51.509
I knew it was going to be the ones that God wanted me to work with, that's the ones that he was going to let hear me.
00:17:51.509 --> 00:17:59.795
And then my confidence built up, and then, of course, you know, they're going to tell their pastor friends about me and this and that.
00:17:59.795 --> 00:18:03.156
And here we are here.
00:18:03.196 --> 00:18:09.705
We are here we are here, we are here, we are here, we are, here, we are.
00:18:09.705 --> 00:18:15.493
So the altar program had its first gathering in 2019.
00:18:15.493 --> 00:18:16.134
Is that correct?
00:18:17.195 --> 00:18:30.946
No, our first summit convention was last year, okay, but we in 2019 is when we put the concept together to create a full program and we sign, and what we do is part of this program.
00:18:30.946 --> 00:18:40.662
We sign and we partner with churches or alliances, conferences, districts, whatever denomination you're going by, you know what you have, right, we?
00:18:40.662 --> 00:18:45.125
We partner with them and now we provide a framework and that's the coaching.
00:18:45.125 --> 00:18:57.928
Now we're coaching the faith leaders, the ministry leaders, how to better support their caregivers, their parishioners they're sitting right there in the pews and the chairs, so we're training them over the two years.
00:18:57.928 --> 00:19:23.410
So January 2020 is when we actually signed our first church, which was my church, of course and then it spread throughout that and five years later, we were in 23 states, 112 faith community partners individual, some are alliances, some of the districts, whatever it is 14 Christian denominations and we're looking to expand.
00:19:23.430 --> 00:19:28.567
The thing is, I want to go wherever black people go to worship.
00:19:28.567 --> 00:19:35.803
I want to make sure that I am bringing resources, because you talked about this current climate.
00:19:35.803 --> 00:19:37.747
Y'all we need.
00:19:37.747 --> 00:19:39.771
We cannot.
00:19:39.771 --> 00:19:41.015
We need us.
00:19:41.015 --> 00:19:43.079
We cannot wait on others.
00:19:43.079 --> 00:19:44.922
We've been doing that for years.
00:19:44.922 --> 00:19:52.231
We've been waiting on others to create solutions for us for years, decades, decades.
00:19:52.231 --> 00:19:53.233
Yeah, right, yeah, you're right.
00:19:53.233 --> 00:19:57.767
Decades Take out, years, decades, and so we have to stop.
00:19:57.767 --> 00:19:59.332
Absolutely we have to stop.
00:19:59.332 --> 00:20:06.451
And so I really think I know everybody may not be religious, but so many people still.
00:20:06.451 --> 00:20:09.941
Even though I don't go to, I still pay attention.
00:20:09.941 --> 00:20:11.971
If I need help, I know where to go.
00:20:11.971 --> 00:20:19.868
Absolutely, and I want to make sure that our faith communities across the country, internationally, up in the Ghana, have what they need.
00:20:19.868 --> 00:20:33.326
So when that family member comes to that pastor and say what I'm going through, that pastor now knows how to respond and that family can walk away with something to help them on their journey.