Nov. 17, 2025

Beyond the Actor: Why Brandon Claybon is Passionate about Alzheimer’s Advocacy

Beyond the Actor: Why Brandon Claybon is Passionate about Alzheimer’s Advocacy
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Season 6

Parenting Up Family! Tune in for a special episode during National Family Caregivers Month! We are usually bi-weekly, but thanks to the Alzheimer's Association of Georgia, we are releasing this bonus episode this month! 

In this episode, Actor Brandon Claybon joins us to unpack the shift that happens when family members forget your name and start losing their memory, with honesty and heart. He speaks with us about how Alzheimer’s touched both sides of his family, what he learned as a ten-year-old watching elders change, and why his purpose goes far beyond the screen. Brandon also talks about carrying light for his community, the accountability that keeps him grounded, and the practical ways a tight-knit family can share care without losing dignity in the process.

We also explore the grief of lost recipes and why recording family culture is important. Brandon shares how he protects his energy with rest and travel, and why intuition can save caregivers time, pain, and frustration.

For teens and young adults stepping in to help, there’s clear guidance here: tune in for more. You may also watch the visual version on Youtube.com/@parentingup.

If this resonates, subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs a village today. Your support helps amplify Alzheimer’s awareness, fuel research, and keep these stories—and solutions—within reach.

To join the fight against Alzheimer's, visit alz.org/georgia

Executive Producer/Host: J Smiles Comedy

Producer: Mia Hall

Editor: Annelise Udoye 

Support the show

"Alzheimer's is heavy but we ain't gotta be!"
IG: https://www.instagram.com/parentingup
FB: https://www.facebook.com/parentingup
YT: https://www.youtube.com/@parentingup
TEXT 'PODCAST" to +1 404 737 1449 - to give J topic ideas, feedback, say hi!
Be sure to leave us a review!

00:00 - Opening, Shoutouts, And Setup

02:42 - Introducing Brandon And His Purpose

05:00 - Family History With Alzheimer’s

08:10 - A Child’s Eye View Of Dementia

12:05 - Recognizing Young Caregivers

15:20 - How Families Coordinate Care

20:05 - Grief, Memories, And Lost Recipes

25:15 - Self Care, Intuition, And Balance

31:15 - Patience Over Frustration

34:10 - Hope For Young Helpers

36:40 - Brandon’s Projects And Where To Find Him

WEBVTT

00:00:00.239 --> 00:00:17.920
How have you balanced your professional responsibilities, requirements, desires, passions, things that you maybe haven't even done yet, with finding space and time to care for family members and to advocate for Alzheimer's.

00:00:18.559 --> 00:00:21.600
To be honest with you, I've always been this person in my family.

00:00:21.679 --> 00:00:26.399
It's not just because of Beyond the Gates or the team of Grey's Anatomy.

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I hear that and it's more too.

00:00:28.480 --> 00:00:29.760
I'm gonna tell y'all that again.

00:00:30.399 --> 00:00:31.679
That's so casually.

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You know what I mean?

00:00:32.799 --> 00:00:36.000
I'm over here saying I casually made it to Starbucks this morning.

00:00:36.079 --> 00:00:36.640
You know what I mean?

00:00:36.719 --> 00:00:39.759
And the brother drops down, well, just uh hit after it.

00:00:40.240 --> 00:00:41.119
Hit after it.

00:00:42.240 --> 00:00:44.079
You move or be moved.

00:00:44.159 --> 00:00:46.880
And so for me, I don't want to be moved.

00:00:46.960 --> 00:00:50.079
That's like, because when he moves me, I was like, you know what?

00:00:50.320 --> 00:00:51.439
Lord, forget me.

00:00:52.000 --> 00:00:58.240
Uh but you get it, you know what it is, you recognize it, and then go ahead, press on.

00:00:58.560 --> 00:01:02.159
Parenting up Caregiving Adventures with comedian Jay Smiles.

00:01:02.320 --> 00:01:07.760
It's the intense journey of unexpectedly being fully responsible for my mama.

00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:19.760
For over a decade, I've been chipping away at the unknown, advocating for her, and pushing all time of awareness on anyone and anything with a heartbeat.

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Caregiver Newbie, OG, and village members just willing to prop up with Caregiver.

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You are in the right place.

00:01:37.280 --> 00:01:39.439
Hi, this is Z.

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I hope you enjoy my daughter's podcast.

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Is that okay?

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Today's supporter shout out comes from YouTube.

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Nicole Houston Johnson 8405.

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You did it! It is all capitalized, and it's three exclamation points.

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Thank you so much.

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Whatever it is we do is only possible because of our global care village.

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It is a big deal that you all have continued to take this journey with me and my team.

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I don't have enough gratitude to share.

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If you would like to be the recipient of a supporter shout out, you know what to do.

00:02:25.919 --> 00:02:34.560
Go to YouTube, leave a review, go to Apple's Podcast, leave a review, leave a comment, share it with somebody.

00:02:35.280 --> 00:02:36.000
Y'all want to do it.

00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:50.879
Today's episode, Beyond the Actor, why Brandon Claybon is passionate about Alzheimer's advocacy.

00:02:52.639 --> 00:02:53.439
What's up, fam?

00:02:53.520 --> 00:02:54.879
It's your girl Jay Smiles.

00:02:54.960 --> 00:02:56.560
And once again, you know what I mean?

00:02:56.639 --> 00:03:00.240
It's like, ah, the universe keeps blessing me.

00:03:00.400 --> 00:03:07.759
I think maybe they're like, hey, if you gotta put up with your mama having Alzheimer's, what we're gonna do is keep getting better and better and better guests.

00:03:07.840 --> 00:03:08.639
All right, I'll take it.

00:03:08.719 --> 00:03:11.199
I wish my mom didn't have the disease, but give me something.

00:03:11.280 --> 00:03:12.080
You know what I mean?

00:03:12.240 --> 00:03:14.800
And today is just that instance.

00:03:14.960 --> 00:03:17.840
You always hear, hey, it's only women doing this.

00:03:18.000 --> 00:03:20.479
Men are not involved as being family caregivers.

00:03:20.960 --> 00:03:21.599
Uh not.

00:03:21.840 --> 00:03:26.000
We're about to put that in the trash for once and for all.

00:03:26.240 --> 00:03:28.879
You've seen him on a bunch of stuff, all right?

00:03:29.199 --> 00:03:34.400
But what I know people like the most is Beyond the Gate.

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Listen, Zatima, yes.

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Beyond the Gates, whoo, the number of people who are trying to find this man somewhere is probably illegal, but right now I got it, okay?

00:03:47.759 --> 00:03:49.199
Brandon Clavon.

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How you doing, Brandon?

00:03:51.039 --> 00:03:52.240
I'm doing great, great.

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Thanks so much for having me.

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Thank you for being here.

00:03:55.680 --> 00:04:04.879
And to have a platform like you have, and then to choose to advocate for something outside of your profession is commendable, and thank you.

00:04:05.199 --> 00:04:07.759
Well, um, once again, thank you for having me.

00:04:07.919 --> 00:04:16.079
I um I'm a person that believes that your purpose in life is not always what you do.

00:04:16.240 --> 00:04:18.319
And of course, I'm an actor.

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Uh, that's what I do, but I think my purpose in life is to uplift, encourage, um, educate, uh, and entertain others.

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So I'm just happy to be here.

00:04:29.680 --> 00:04:33.040
You also must drink copious amounts of water because your skin is flawless.

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So I don't know.

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But they got to do the acting.

00:04:35.439 --> 00:04:40.079
But I'm gonna try to figure out how to get his water regimen and I'm gonna let y'all in on it.

00:04:40.319 --> 00:04:46.319
So here at the Parenting Up Podcast, we elevate and support family caregivers.

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Probably many of your fans don't know how connected you have been to the world of dementia, to Alzheimer's specifically, and how it has impacted your life.

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Share with us the family members who have been diagnosed with the disease.

00:05:05.040 --> 00:05:07.759
Let us know are they alive, not alive.

00:05:08.079 --> 00:05:12.160
Well, the disease um runs on both sides of my family.

00:05:12.399 --> 00:05:17.839
From my grandmother to my aunt, um, a cousin.

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Um it's been with me throughout my life, um, until this moment here.

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So I feel like I've been touched by the disease, and I feel like since there isn't a cure, um, we need to continue to advocate, um, tell people about it, um, and find a cure.

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I I think uh at some point in my lifetime, I hope to see it.

00:05:42.879 --> 00:05:43.199
Yes.

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So what he's also saying, fam, is that means donate, right?

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There's gonna be, we're gonna have links and buttons everywhere.

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So find a cure is code for we need money.

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Cure comes with research and trials, and we'll get more into that.

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For sure.

00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:11.439
How old were you when the first person in your family that you were that you knew of uh actually was starting to have problems or showed signs?

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10, 10 years old.

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Whoa.

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Um and my gr grandmother um called me by my dad's name.

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And at the time I I didn't understand.

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Um, but my father was letting me know no, this happens when you get older, but that necessarily wasn't the case.

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He was just trying to explain it in a way that um I could grasp.

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That's right.

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Um but that was difficult for me because I was one of her favorite grandchildren, you know.

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She also made uh sweet potato pies for me, like um throughout the year.

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Okay, and she wouldn't let anyone else touch these pies until I made it to the house, and it's like, no, that's that's Brema's Pie.

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That was my nickname.

00:06:55.759 --> 00:06:57.360
Brema or Bam Bam, yeah.

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Oh, Brema and Bam Bam.

00:06:58.959 --> 00:07:02.959
So listen, on the Parents and Out Podcasts, you always get those juicy bits.

00:07:03.199 --> 00:07:04.160
Okay, okay.

00:07:04.319 --> 00:07:05.360
Where did you grow up?

00:07:05.600 --> 00:07:11.680
I grew up in a small town called Oakland, Tennessee, which is 15, 20 minutes outside of Memphis, Tennessee.

00:07:11.839 --> 00:07:12.160
All right.

00:07:12.240 --> 00:07:12.560
Yeah.

00:07:12.800 --> 00:07:15.360
So it's not West Side, it's just Tennessee.

00:07:15.680 --> 00:07:17.759
No, I'm I'm joking on being California.

00:07:18.000 --> 00:07:18.319
Oh no.

00:07:20.079 --> 00:07:24.480
No, but but I have lived in Los Angeles for the past 14 years.

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So a little west side in me.

00:07:26.000 --> 00:07:26.560
Yeah, that's right.

00:07:26.639 --> 00:07:28.800
That's right, that's right, from the acting, of course.

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That makes perfect sense.

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At 10, that's pretty heavy.

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And I know that we are currently as a system of family caregivers and advocates really trying to let adults know hey, you can't um expect children to not see and feel, right?

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You 10 years old, even if you didn't know what was happening, you could tell grandmama's not quite the same.

00:07:57.600 --> 00:08:09.839
And there's so many um adults who believe, well, there that's just a child, he's just a child, we're not gonna bog him down, he wouldn't understand, we're just gonna say grandmama doesn't feel well.

00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:21.920
But the number of people I've interviewed, Brandon, who actually have carried that into their teenage years, into their early adult years, thinking, could I have done something differently?

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Why didn't they tell me more?

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Did you experience any of that?

00:08:25.600 --> 00:08:26.240
I did.

00:08:26.399 --> 00:08:32.000
Um, because you know, we look at children as if they don't see or they don't feel.

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Um, but that's not the truth of the situation.

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Um I've learned throughout the years that I'm an empath, and so I take on the feelings and energy of everyone that I come in contact with.

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As a child, I didn't understand that.

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Um, but I get it.

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I get it a lot more now because I knew something was wrong even back then when my father wouldn't explain it to me.

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Um I could just feel in his in his eyes, or seeing my aunt, uh, she was the caregiver for my grandmother, just seeing how things made her feel when my grandmother would forget, or just she just wouldn't know, or call her by a different name.

00:09:14.799 --> 00:09:16.639
Um, and it stuck with me.

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Uh, and I knew that I wanted to be an advocate for um Alzheimer's awareness.

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And um, yeah, and that's that's why I'm here.

00:09:25.279 --> 00:09:25.679
I love it.

00:09:25.840 --> 00:09:26.399
I love it.

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Uh, fam, for you all to recognize those who are not on video and you're listening, it is amazing to sit with someone who has been a part of the family caregiver village.

00:09:41.679 --> 00:09:45.200
And so I'm smiling really big when I say this for decades.

00:09:46.399 --> 00:09:55.519
The world has not always acknowledged the secondary and tertiary levels of family caregiving.

00:09:55.759 --> 00:10:03.120
So children may be asked, hey, just go sit with grandmama for an hour until your parents get off work.

00:10:03.519 --> 00:10:06.559
Well, in that one hour, that child is a caregiver.

00:10:07.279 --> 00:10:13.759
Because they're responsible to call 911 or to find the pills or to keep grandmama from walking outside.

00:10:14.240 --> 00:10:20.480
But so often the adults who say, well, just go sit with grandmama, won't recognize this child is the caregiver.

00:10:20.799 --> 00:10:51.039
So what I am asking anyone listening or watching is to recognize that when those children become a part of the care process, please allow them to get uh some it may it may be support, but I know the All-Times Association actually has a um support system for young people who they don't know what to say, they don't even know what to ask, they don't even know how to say, I don't feel right, I'm scared, I'm nervous.

00:10:51.200 --> 00:10:55.360
What if somebody comes to the house and asks to get in and grandmama wants to leave?

00:10:55.600 --> 00:10:56.639
I'm 10 years old.

00:10:56.720 --> 00:10:58.799
I don't know how to make grandmama stay in the house.

00:10:59.120 --> 00:10:59.279
You know?

00:10:59.840 --> 00:11:04.240
So that is something that uh I appreciate you sharing, sharing that with us.

00:11:04.480 --> 00:11:08.480
Um with your cousin and your aunt.

00:11:08.639 --> 00:11:14.399
Now, was this the aunt, the aunt that uh eventually had Alzheimer's?

00:11:14.559 --> 00:11:16.799
Is this the one who also cared for your grandmother?

00:11:17.120 --> 00:11:18.399
Uh yes, it is.

00:11:18.639 --> 00:11:24.399
Um and I I should say that her siblings were involved as well.

00:11:24.559 --> 00:11:26.480
So, of course, my dad helped.

00:11:26.559 --> 00:11:30.000
Um, it was actually in his house that she was staying.

00:11:30.240 --> 00:11:34.159
Um my other aunt, she helped as well.

00:11:34.399 --> 00:11:38.000
Um it it takes a village, yes, you really to come together.

00:11:38.159 --> 00:11:40.480
Like the entire family is affected.

00:11:40.639 --> 00:11:44.879
I don't care if you're 99 years old or you're one.

00:11:45.120 --> 00:11:47.279
Everyone is affected in the family.

00:11:47.600 --> 00:11:56.240
And um it's a blessing to see family come together uh for a loved one like that as well.

00:11:56.399 --> 00:12:02.480
So that's how I knew I was blessed with great families on both sides, my mom and dad.

00:12:02.639 --> 00:12:02.960
Yes.

00:12:03.279 --> 00:12:08.559
Um, it's a tight knit, you know, and we come together for each other, for sure.

00:12:08.799 --> 00:12:10.159
That doesn't always happen.

00:12:10.399 --> 00:12:11.360
I and I understand.

00:12:11.679 --> 00:12:13.600
That doesn't always happen at all.

00:12:14.159 --> 00:12:17.360
As you observed your elders, right?

00:12:17.519 --> 00:12:26.639
So you're saying like one and two generations above you coming together, connecting, to care for whoever had Alzheimer's at the time.

00:12:27.200 --> 00:12:32.480
What did you see them doing that you say, wow, that really worked?

00:12:32.879 --> 00:12:37.600
Part of their strategy, or how they divvied up the responsibilities.

00:12:38.159 --> 00:12:39.840
It's quite interesting that you asked that.

00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:47.360
So sometimes um adults try to get you to do something, they try to tell you what to do.

00:12:47.600 --> 00:12:51.600
So you have to think like they're talking to their parent.

00:12:52.080 --> 00:12:56.559
And telling a parent what to do, it's kind of difficult at times.

00:12:56.720 --> 00:12:59.120
I don't care if you have Alzheimer's or not.

00:12:59.440 --> 00:13:02.480
So my grandmother's like, no, I'm not doing that.

00:13:02.639 --> 00:13:11.840
So it's kind of like I just saw them um, you know, basically easing their way into doing things.

00:13:12.000 --> 00:13:15.919
I'm not gonna tell you exactly, but you might like to do this.

00:13:16.159 --> 00:13:19.200
Or would you like to, you know, eat this cantaloupe?

00:13:19.279 --> 00:13:22.240
Or um, would you like to have a banana?

00:13:22.399 --> 00:13:27.919
It's it's kind of like asking over and over again, basically getting on their nerves.

00:13:28.000 --> 00:13:29.440
It's like, fine, just give it to me.

00:13:29.679 --> 00:13:30.080
That's right.

00:13:30.399 --> 00:13:35.759
Instead of um really demanding, because sometimes that goes arrive.

00:13:35.919 --> 00:13:37.200
It's like, no, who are you talking to?

00:13:37.279 --> 00:13:38.480
You you're not my, you know.

00:13:38.720 --> 00:13:39.519
That's I'm the mama.

00:13:39.840 --> 00:13:40.240
Yes.

00:13:40.559 --> 00:13:41.759
I've gotten that several times.

00:13:42.080 --> 00:13:43.279
She remembers she's the mama.

00:13:43.440 --> 00:13:43.600
Yeah.

00:13:44.320 --> 00:13:45.039
At the end of the day.

00:13:45.279 --> 00:13:48.399
Yes, and I am not the mama, and I am not in charge.

00:13:48.639 --> 00:13:48.879
Exactly.

00:13:49.120 --> 00:13:58.080
And she has let my mother, uh Zeti, who we're approaching year 14 right now, with uh Alzheimer's, she will let me and the caregivers know.

00:13:58.399 --> 00:14:07.600
So there's a caregiver with her right now, and there are times when they say, Well, well, you know, please, to use your reference, eat this cantaloupe.

00:14:08.080 --> 00:14:09.360
I don't want the cantaloupe.

00:14:09.519 --> 00:14:10.720
Please eat the cantaloupe.

00:14:10.799 --> 00:14:11.840
I don't want the cantaloupe.

00:14:12.240 --> 00:14:13.360
I don't like cantaloupe.

00:14:13.440 --> 00:14:15.759
Now, mind you, my mama loves cantaloupe, okay?

00:14:15.919 --> 00:14:17.440
But that day she doesn't want to love it.

00:14:17.919 --> 00:14:26.399
So the best part is when the caregivers tell me, I told her, well, Jay said, please eat the cantaloupe.

00:14:26.559 --> 00:14:32.960
And then she responds, she retorts, Jay, Jay can't tell me what to do.

00:14:33.279 --> 00:14:34.240
She is my child.

00:14:34.399 --> 00:14:36.320
I'm like, dang, oh, but cantaloupe?

00:14:37.039 --> 00:14:39.919
Are we are we really about to battle over this mama?

00:14:40.240 --> 00:14:49.120
But it happens because, like you said, once the Alzheimer's is attack attacks the brain, it's not the same family member anymore.

00:14:49.279 --> 00:14:49.840
Right.

00:14:50.080 --> 00:14:55.360
Um, did most of your family members live in the same city, same area?

00:14:56.000 --> 00:14:56.720
Same city, okay.

00:14:57.039 --> 00:14:57.840
Same area.

00:14:58.000 --> 00:14:59.440
Uh, most of them do.

00:14:59.600 --> 00:15:12.879
Um, and once again, I didn't know how much of a blessing this was until you go to school as a kid and you're talking to other friends about their families, and they tell you, oh, my family lives in Montana and in Wisconsin.

00:15:13.120 --> 00:15:13.840
And I'm like, what?

00:15:14.080 --> 00:15:14.240
What?

00:15:14.399 --> 00:15:15.519
Like, who was that?

00:15:16.000 --> 00:15:18.159
Those are strangers that live that far away.

00:15:18.399 --> 00:15:18.720
Exactly.

00:15:19.039 --> 00:15:20.639
Understood, understood.

00:15:20.960 --> 00:15:26.879
Um, as you um your grand uh your grandmother, I believe, is not correct.

00:15:28.000 --> 00:15:37.759
What changes did you see um within yourself as well as your family members who had offered care to her when she passed?

00:15:38.000 --> 00:15:43.600
I'm asking this specifically because um families are often torn.

00:15:44.159 --> 00:16:02.960
In one way you are so happy they're no longer suffering, but because there were so many additional intimate moments, right, then there becomes this big void and gap because you're like, hey, I was with her every day, or I I was the one who was responsible to shampoo her hair.

00:16:03.360 --> 00:16:15.519
And there's sometimes we found here at the Panting Up Community, that there's almost like uh a sense of purpose that's now vanished.

00:16:17.600 --> 00:16:23.360
Of course, you spend a lot of time and energy with um the loved one.

00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:46.159
Um once that once that person is no longer with us, I think what I saw the most was acknowledgement of the memories in every moment that you had, even in the disease, because sometimes it's just a light bulb, something just happens, and guess what?

00:16:46.240 --> 00:16:46.799
They're on.

00:16:47.200 --> 00:16:48.320
You know, they're on today.

00:16:48.399 --> 00:16:50.720
You know, you start knocking, they was like, Yeah, I'm here.

00:16:50.799 --> 00:16:51.120
That's right.

00:16:51.279 --> 00:16:51.919
I'm I'm here.

00:16:52.080 --> 00:16:52.879
What's up?

00:16:53.600 --> 00:17:03.120
Um I think it was just moments we we'll sit down and um like family gatherings and we talk about those moments.

00:17:03.279 --> 00:17:03.519
Okay.

00:17:03.759 --> 00:17:10.000
We talk about how my cousin um would cook us cheesecakes every holiday.

00:17:10.240 --> 00:17:12.640
Like he was really, really good at recipes.

00:17:13.119 --> 00:17:23.279
Um, and of course, um with dementia, that all changed and he couldn't remember it, and it was upsetting because we didn't get any of the recipes before.

00:17:23.519 --> 00:17:26.079
And it was not like it was written down or anything.

00:17:26.240 --> 00:17:29.680
And so my mom, she, you know, I think she tried.

00:17:29.920 --> 00:17:33.599
Um, but it it would, it was never the same.

00:17:33.839 --> 00:17:44.880
So we'd always have the memories, and just to talk about them, that took up space and that energy was still there, and we we knew they're right around the corner, they're right over our shoulder.

00:17:45.680 --> 00:17:48.960
Okay, I'm gonna take this as a moment of personal privilege.

00:17:49.279 --> 00:17:51.440
Fam, get the recipes.

00:17:51.680 --> 00:17:55.759
I don't have I don't even want to name the recipes I don't have for my grandmother.

00:17:56.640 --> 00:18:11.039
But the point is, even if you have a person who doesn't appear to be sick at this time, the next family gathering where you are there, or you could just ask them, hey, just put the cell phone on record.

00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:12.160
You don't even have to talk.

00:18:12.240 --> 00:18:14.240
We'll just watch what are you adding?

00:18:14.319 --> 00:18:17.119
Why are you adding bacon soda to a pork chop?

00:18:17.200 --> 00:18:22.559
No, and you because they do things that you're like, I would have that's not going to be on anything on Google.

00:18:22.720 --> 00:18:23.039
Right.

00:18:23.440 --> 00:18:34.559
But to get those recipes or stories, that's a part of how the culture, whatever your culture is, how it not only uh survives but thrives.

00:18:34.640 --> 00:18:35.039
Yeah.

00:18:35.279 --> 00:18:47.839
And I know I I uh really lament the things that I don't have from my grandparents, um, for my dad for that matter, things that they were just really, really good at.

00:18:48.160 --> 00:18:52.240
And they had uh kind of uncovered a secret or two.

00:18:52.319 --> 00:18:53.920
And I didn't get the secrets, you know.

00:18:54.000 --> 00:18:57.200
I'm like, I messed around and let you go without getting your secrets.

00:18:57.359 --> 00:18:59.279
So that I got to go figure this thing out from scratch.

00:18:59.519 --> 00:19:02.640
But in the black family, all the secrets, we couldn't keep up with the mahogany.

00:19:03.920 --> 00:19:07.599
Well, I don't want all to be quite honest, Brandon.

00:19:07.759 --> 00:19:09.759
So I don't, please don't tell me.

00:19:09.920 --> 00:19:13.680
And if you tell me, I'm putting my fingers in my ears, I ain't listening.

00:19:14.799 --> 00:19:22.640
Also, for anybody who is not watching video, I need to say that these Jordans that he has on, I just look down and laughed.

00:19:22.720 --> 00:19:23.519
They so clean.

00:19:23.759 --> 00:19:24.319
Cut it out.

00:19:24.480 --> 00:19:32.400
They so clean, they so clean, and he probably didn't buy them yesterday, which just means that this brother is clean.

00:19:34.480 --> 00:19:35.519
I like a cleanness.

00:19:35.759 --> 00:19:37.279
I like a cleanness, I like a cleanness.

00:19:37.440 --> 00:19:38.720
Well, what did the old people say?

00:19:38.960 --> 00:19:40.720
Cleanliness is next to godliness.

00:19:40.880 --> 00:19:41.519
That is what they say.

00:19:41.680 --> 00:19:42.319
That's what they say.

00:19:42.400 --> 00:19:45.039
So well, his shoes are godlike.

00:19:45.920 --> 00:19:47.119
I don't know about the rest of them.

00:19:47.279 --> 00:19:49.039
I'm not making this an intimate podcast.

00:19:49.279 --> 00:19:52.960
I'm just saying, his shoes is going to heaven.

00:19:54.319 --> 00:20:07.200
Um as you have uh ascended in the world of acting, you have had a very successful career, and we wish you continued success for sure.

00:20:07.440 --> 00:20:08.079
Thank you.

00:20:08.400 --> 00:20:26.079
How have you balanced your professional responsibilities, requirements, desires, passions, things that you maybe haven't even done yet, with finding space and time to care for family members and to advocate for uh Alzheimer's?

00:20:26.720 --> 00:20:28.640
To be honest with you, I'm still learning.

00:20:28.799 --> 00:20:31.359
I'm still learning how to balance everything.

00:20:31.519 --> 00:20:36.079
I'm a Libra, and so balance is important, um, for sure.

00:20:36.319 --> 00:20:38.640
Um, but I think it's a great team.

00:20:38.880 --> 00:20:46.880
It's having a great team, um, having a great family that checks in and, you know, it's like, hey, they hold me accountable.

00:20:47.039 --> 00:20:47.359
Okay.

00:20:47.599 --> 00:20:51.920
Um, and I know the responsibility that's on my shoulders, you know.

00:20:52.079 --> 00:20:55.200
I've I've always been this person in my family.

00:20:55.279 --> 00:20:59.920
It's not just because of Beyond the Gates or Zatima or Grey's Anatomy.

00:21:00.240 --> 00:21:01.920
I hear that, and there's some more too.

00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:03.519
I'm gonna tell y'all that again.

00:21:03.839 --> 00:21:06.160
But they so casually, you know what I mean?

00:21:06.319 --> 00:21:10.240
I'm over here saying I casually made it to Starbucks this morning, you know what I mean?

00:21:10.400 --> 00:21:11.519
And then brother drops down.

00:21:11.599 --> 00:21:15.359
Well, just uh hit after hit after hit after hit, keep going.

00:21:15.599 --> 00:21:18.000
But but I've always been this person.

00:21:18.240 --> 00:21:25.359
Um, and I know the light that I carry and I know the responsibility that I have for my family members and my community.

00:21:25.519 --> 00:21:26.640
So boom.

00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:27.039
Yeah.

00:21:27.279 --> 00:21:29.119
How do you care for yourself?

00:21:31.680 --> 00:21:34.160
I like to vacation a lot.

00:21:34.400 --> 00:21:46.799
So um I just got back from New Orleans uh for my birthday, and I ate everything in sight from shrimp po boys to um uh what else did I have?

00:21:47.119 --> 00:21:51.119
Gambo and beignets and etuffe.

00:21:51.839 --> 00:21:54.079
I said no to nothing.

00:21:54.880 --> 00:21:55.200
Yeah.

00:21:55.440 --> 00:21:57.839
So now I'm going on a diet.

00:21:58.319 --> 00:21:59.279
That's okay.

00:21:59.759 --> 00:22:04.240
You look you that you went hard and now you're gonna go hard getting back into the balance.

00:22:04.400 --> 00:22:06.480
Like what the Libra needs.

00:22:06.799 --> 00:22:22.400
I uh my maternal grandmother's originally from New Orleans, so I think I feel I grew up in Montgomery, Alabama, but New Orleans it feels like a second home because so many of my summers were spent there um hanging out with cousins and great-grandparents.

00:22:22.480 --> 00:22:36.000
And if you think grandparents, okay, family, if you think grandparents spoil you, if you have the honor and the privilege of having a great grandparent alive as you come of age, that is, it probably is ridiculous.

00:22:36.240 --> 00:22:45.039
Probably whatever part of me is rotten, it started with my mama's grandmama, mama T down in the seventh ward in New Orleans.

00:22:45.119 --> 00:22:49.440
So all of the things you just mentioned, eating, uh, now my mouth is extra watering.

00:22:49.599 --> 00:22:55.680
I got to make sure that I don't start doing spit bubbles because that was what I had every day when I was down there.

00:22:55.759 --> 00:22:58.559
You know, I didn't Now I know you're an empath as well.

00:22:58.720 --> 00:22:59.200
I am.

00:22:59.359 --> 00:23:05.839
Okay, so now we're in New Orleans, and everybody kept asking me about the witches and warlocks and the vampires.

00:23:06.079 --> 00:23:08.240
I told them, I said, I knew who they were.

00:23:08.400 --> 00:23:12.160
I said, but um, I was at the height of my power, so I was like, I'm okay.

00:23:12.319 --> 00:23:13.119
Okay, that's right.

00:23:13.279 --> 00:23:13.759
That's right.

00:23:14.079 --> 00:23:16.799
You going to them, you say, Oh no, thank you.

00:23:16.960 --> 00:23:17.200
Yeah.

00:23:17.440 --> 00:23:18.079
And you keep walking.

00:23:18.240 --> 00:23:18.799
You keep walking.

00:23:19.119 --> 00:23:20.240
Some of them might be in your family.

00:23:20.319 --> 00:23:21.839
You just don't spend the night at their houses.

00:23:22.000 --> 00:23:22.240
Yeah.

00:23:22.400 --> 00:23:23.359
Well, I don't.

00:23:23.839 --> 00:23:26.319
I can't tell you what everybody does, but I don't.

00:23:26.480 --> 00:23:31.119
Uh I have found that were it not for intuition, I already wouldn't be here.

00:23:31.279 --> 00:23:31.519
Yeah.

00:23:31.599 --> 00:23:32.799
Um God given.

00:23:33.359 --> 00:23:47.200
And if even if my physical body would be here, the spirit of who I am, the strength, the resilience that has uh been a part of my journey comes from intuition, which is the Holy Spirit.

00:23:47.519 --> 00:23:50.960
Which is it's the part of me that defies all logic, right?

00:23:51.119 --> 00:23:53.599
And in human reason and rationale.

00:23:53.759 --> 00:23:55.279
And I'm grateful for it.

00:23:55.359 --> 00:23:59.839
And it really did start with my New Orleanian side.

00:24:00.079 --> 00:24:09.519
My grandmother, who would my grandfather's a good old Southern Baptist Alabama boy, and he's like, you he needed to see it and experience it to believe it.

00:24:09.680 --> 00:24:14.319
And my my grandmother, his wife, thought that was the most idiotic thing.

00:24:14.400 --> 00:24:14.640
Yeah.

00:24:14.799 --> 00:24:23.039
She would tell him, and all of us, hey, experience is not the best teacher, but a fool will learn no other way.

00:24:23.680 --> 00:24:30.480
Now, I was probably up to last week before I fully understood all the parts of that phrase.

00:24:30.640 --> 00:24:30.720
Yeah.

00:24:31.279 --> 00:24:32.400
You have to go through it on your own.

00:24:32.960 --> 00:24:35.839
You don't have to always, sometimes you ain't gotta go through it.

00:24:35.920 --> 00:24:38.640
Sometimes if I watch you go through it, that's good for me, Brandon.

00:24:38.720 --> 00:24:39.279
I'm like, you know what?

00:24:39.440 --> 00:24:40.480
If it didn't work for Brandon, yeah.

00:24:40.640 --> 00:24:42.640
I'm gonna go and say it probably won't work for me.

00:24:42.799 --> 00:24:44.720
But you know, you all people aren't like that.

00:24:44.880 --> 00:24:46.640
I know, but I'm I'm leaning into it more.

00:24:46.720 --> 00:24:47.599
Yeah, I'm leaning into that.

00:24:47.920 --> 00:24:50.160
But it was something you you told me earlier.

00:24:50.400 --> 00:24:55.200
Um you were moved to um become a comedian.

00:24:55.359 --> 00:24:55.839
Yes.

00:24:56.000 --> 00:25:00.960
Um, but you said the spirit told you it's time to move.

00:25:01.119 --> 00:25:04.640
And I said, you move or be moved.

00:25:04.799 --> 00:25:07.440
And so for me, I I don't want to be moved.

00:25:07.519 --> 00:25:12.000
I was like, because when he moves me, I was like, you know what, Lord forgive me.

00:25:12.160 --> 00:25:12.400
Yeah.

00:25:13.279 --> 00:25:18.880
But you get it, you know what it is, you recognize it, and then go ahead, press on.

00:25:19.200 --> 00:25:20.000
You're absolutely right.

00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:27.359
It is much more, it is more difficult when you are moved versus if you move.

00:25:27.599 --> 00:25:28.079
For sure.

00:25:28.400 --> 00:25:37.279
Because um, whatever obstacles and resistance that I have tried to give to the Holy Spirit, it doesn't work.

00:25:37.680 --> 00:25:43.039
And then now I just got uh I'm out of breath and I got bruises and scrapes and bad memories.

00:25:43.519 --> 00:25:44.960
And I wasted time.

00:25:45.200 --> 00:25:54.319
So uh that is a major part I believe in being a family caregiver is going with the flow and don't resist it.

00:25:54.559 --> 00:26:12.079
So many people believe in the in the initial stages that their loved one, their family member, the person they're caring for, is choosing to forget or not working hard enough to remember.

00:26:12.319 --> 00:26:12.480
Right.

00:26:12.960 --> 00:26:22.799
And then they so they may be providing care, but they're providing care with a little bit of a grain of salt in their spirit or a little bit of frustration.

00:26:22.960 --> 00:26:23.119
Yeah.

00:26:23.279 --> 00:26:27.759
Because it's like, well, you you knew this two hours ago.

00:26:28.000 --> 00:26:32.079
How is it possible that you don't know it now?

00:26:32.240 --> 00:26:39.200
And I think a part of the advocacy and awareness is that the disease is just that tricky.

00:26:39.359 --> 00:26:40.799
It is just that fleeting.

00:26:40.960 --> 00:26:46.319
They could remember everything and five minutes later not know where they are.

00:26:46.400 --> 00:26:47.440
And that is real.

00:26:47.759 --> 00:26:52.079
That is an experience that if you don't have the disease, you can't relate.

00:26:52.240 --> 00:27:04.079
And we have yet to have the first person as an Alzheimer's survivor, so we don't have anybody who could tell us on the other side what the experience was like.

00:27:04.640 --> 00:27:17.279
Um, did you have personal experiences with any of your uh loved ones who had the disease, either forgetting who you were or trying to leave the house or something that was really jarring in your spirit?

00:27:17.599 --> 00:27:35.680
Um yes, forgetting who they were, um trying to leave uh out of the room, uh not being fully dressed, because at this time, you know, they forgot how to uh put clothes on, uh, how to bathe themselves.

00:27:35.920 --> 00:27:40.319
Um and this is me seeing this at a young age.

00:27:40.559 --> 00:27:41.920
And it shook me.

00:27:42.079 --> 00:27:54.880
It shook me, uh, especially uh during that time because I didn't fully understand what was happening, but I just knew that my grandmother or my aunt or my cousin, they just weren't the same as before.

00:27:55.200 --> 00:27:59.039
And I think I had that level of uh frustration as well.

00:27:59.119 --> 00:28:03.440
It's like what you know, it was just you know, last week when I saw you, you know.

00:28:03.680 --> 00:28:10.640
Um, and I I get that and I I understand it, but I would say to anyone, um, patience.

00:28:11.039 --> 00:28:12.480
Patience with your loved ones.

00:28:12.559 --> 00:28:14.960
You know how much they loved and cared for you.

00:28:15.119 --> 00:28:18.400
That's how much love and care um you have to give back.

00:28:18.559 --> 00:28:22.960
So oh wow, this has been an amazing conversation.

00:28:23.519 --> 00:28:33.200
Um I again cannot uh show enough gratitude on behalf of the parenting up family and family caregivers for you to choose.

00:28:33.440 --> 00:28:36.720
I don't want to highlight it, choose to be an advocate.

00:28:36.880 --> 00:28:51.359
Because everyone who is a family caregiver, whether you are the person actually putting the pill in the um Alzheimer's sufferer's mouth, or you the one writing the check for the pills, or you're just calling the family caregiver to say, hey, are you okay?

00:28:51.519 --> 00:28:53.279
I'm gonna send you a gift card.

00:28:53.440 --> 00:28:58.160
There are so many layers to what this village needs to be.

00:28:58.400 --> 00:29:05.440
And uh for you to choose, because all of us choose to be family caregivers, and nobody, nobody, and we don't want it.

00:29:05.519 --> 00:29:07.920
Like because you don't want it to, you don't want to be needed.

00:29:08.079 --> 00:29:09.440
That's what I try to tell people.

00:29:09.599 --> 00:29:11.920
I don't want my mother to need me in this way.

00:29:12.240 --> 00:29:19.119
Of course I love her, and I'll do anything in the world, but I sure wish it was something else that she needed me to do for her.

00:29:19.279 --> 00:29:23.039
Um so as we And you know she wouldn't want that as well.

00:29:23.359 --> 00:29:23.759
Correct.

00:29:23.839 --> 00:29:24.240
You know.

00:29:24.559 --> 00:29:25.119
At all.

00:29:25.279 --> 00:29:25.440
Yeah.

00:29:25.680 --> 00:29:31.680
Anyone, if you met my mom for five minutes, this is not at all what she wants.

00:29:31.839 --> 00:29:37.279
As a matter of fact, she actually would do things to not get Alzheimer's, Brandon.

00:29:37.359 --> 00:29:38.000
Can you believe that?

00:29:38.720 --> 00:29:39.759
The irony of it.

00:29:40.240 --> 00:29:44.960
She was the first person in our family to have this disease.

00:29:45.200 --> 00:29:49.279
Normally, I mean, her dad had it, but he had a lot of other stuff going on.

00:29:49.440 --> 00:29:51.200
And he was in his late 80s, okay?

00:29:52.079 --> 00:29:57.839
When it came, so they were like, Yeah, he was probably gonna die from round robin.

00:29:57.920 --> 00:29:58.880
Let's pick the short straw.

00:29:59.039 --> 00:29:59.440
You know what I mean?

00:29:59.519 --> 00:29:59.839
He had a number.

00:30:00.720 --> 00:30:04.559
But so Alzheimer's had not been a part of our family on either side.

00:30:04.720 --> 00:30:08.319
One side was strokes and heart attacks, the other side was cancer.

00:30:08.799 --> 00:30:10.640
Neither happened to my mom.

00:30:10.880 --> 00:30:30.400
And she actually would do like uh sudoku puzzles, and I remember her saying, I read something, Jay, that you need to uh brush your teeth with your non-dominant hand three times a week to say so she was reading these things in her late 40s, early 50s, almost as a premonition.

00:30:30.480 --> 00:30:30.799
I don't know.

00:30:30.880 --> 00:30:31.440
I was like, what?

00:30:31.599 --> 00:30:32.799
Mama Alzheimer's.

00:30:33.440 --> 00:30:37.119
And the disease got her, it attacked her.

00:30:37.359 --> 00:30:50.079
I will admit, and I'm going to ask you this, only answer if you feel comfortable, that I have my own trepidations around will I acquire the this this disease since it was my mom?

00:30:50.240 --> 00:30:56.319
And and what part of my genealogy is like hers, what part of my lifestyle is like hers.

00:30:56.400 --> 00:30:57.839
So I have concerns.

00:30:58.079 --> 00:31:01.039
Do you have any of those concerns because of your family history?

00:31:01.279 --> 00:31:02.000
Of course I do.

00:31:02.079 --> 00:31:04.640
And not just for myself, but for my parents.

00:31:05.200 --> 00:31:09.680
It's on both sides of my family, so I think about them all the time.

00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:10.319
You know?

00:31:10.720 --> 00:31:11.279
Yeah, yeah.

00:31:11.440 --> 00:31:11.920
I got it.

00:31:12.079 --> 00:31:12.960
I got it.

00:31:14.160 --> 00:31:36.640
Give us a bit of hope and positivity for people who are family caregivers, especially if they are younger, let's say teenagers, early 20s, and there's an uncle or a grandparent, or maybe a parent who is starting to show signs and they're needing to stop by a little more, go to the grocery store, maybe do their laundry.

00:31:37.119 --> 00:31:46.400
What can you suggest that can keep them fortified and energized at such a young age when they're needing to kind of step in and help out?

00:31:46.640 --> 00:31:55.440
Um, well, definitely at a young age, I would tell all the kids out there time is so expensive.

00:31:55.680 --> 00:32:03.200
And you don't know it now because you're so young, but cherish your moments that you have with your loved ones now.

00:32:03.759 --> 00:32:20.240
Every small moment you have, if even if you could just have breakfast with a parent or a grandparent, um really be present, put the phone down and just be right there with your loved ones.

00:32:20.480 --> 00:32:23.680
That's the most important thing I could tell anyone.

00:32:24.079 --> 00:32:25.440
Put the phone down.

00:32:25.680 --> 00:32:26.880
Did you hear that?

00:32:27.599 --> 00:32:30.960
Brandon Bam Bam said, put the phone down.

00:32:31.119 --> 00:32:32.240
That's a whole word.

00:32:32.400 --> 00:32:32.559
Yeah.

00:32:32.799 --> 00:32:40.480
And this man, you know, arguably, PR media, social media, that's his job, that's his job.

00:32:40.640 --> 00:32:44.160
That helps his career be more long-lasting.

00:32:44.319 --> 00:32:46.799
But in those moments, he's like, uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.

00:32:46.960 --> 00:32:47.440
Not right now.

00:32:47.599 --> 00:32:47.920
Not this time.

00:32:48.160 --> 00:32:48.799
Not at this time.

00:32:48.960 --> 00:32:49.200
Yeah.

00:32:49.519 --> 00:32:50.880
Thank you so much for sharing that.

00:32:51.200 --> 00:32:52.319
No, thank you for having me.

00:32:52.559 --> 00:32:52.880
Yes.

00:32:53.039 --> 00:33:08.160
Now, let everybody know about any uh about your projects that are current, maybe something that hadn't been announced yet, but it's not under contractual obligation, and you ain't you can tell us, uh, or also everywhere they can find you.

00:33:08.480 --> 00:33:14.880
Well, guys, you can find me um Monday through Friday on Beyond the Gates on CBS, 2 p.m.

00:33:15.039 --> 00:33:16.079
Eastern, 1 p.m.

00:33:16.319 --> 00:33:16.880
Central.

00:33:17.039 --> 00:33:19.279
Um, also, you can find me on all social media.

00:33:19.359 --> 00:33:21.440
It's just my name, Brandon Claybon.

00:33:21.839 --> 00:33:26.160
And yeah, uh, hope to see you guys around and talk to you soon and connect.

00:33:26.400 --> 00:33:28.880
And um, thanks for listening to us.

00:33:29.200 --> 00:33:30.240
Fantastic.

00:33:30.400 --> 00:33:31.920
That's a wrap.

00:33:32.559 --> 00:33:34.160
The snuggle ups.

00:33:36.319 --> 00:33:37.279
Number one.

00:33:37.839 --> 00:33:40.799
Y'all, we have to do better by our kids.

00:33:41.039 --> 00:33:52.160
The kids who are in the family, the neighborhood kids that actually come in and sit with adults who have dementia, Alzheimer's Parkinson, even if it's cancer.

00:33:52.240 --> 00:34:07.759
I know it's the Parents of Up Podcast, and we focus on Alzheimer's, but our kids are being really smushed emotionally and psychologically because they don't know what's happening, but they see the change occurring in front of them.

00:34:08.480 --> 00:34:12.960
So don't discount what they need.

00:34:13.360 --> 00:34:19.599
You know, maybe there's a support group at an Alzheimer's Association chapter near you.

00:34:19.760 --> 00:34:28.639
Maybe you can find something if you talk to um the loved ones' doctor, their neurologist, their primary care physician, they may have suggestions.

00:34:28.719 --> 00:34:33.840
They're books that help children understand what's happening and their place in it.

00:34:33.920 --> 00:34:35.199
Because this is what you need to know.

00:34:35.360 --> 00:34:36.480
They are caregivers.

00:34:36.719 --> 00:34:40.480
If they have the help at all, then they are also a caregiver.

00:34:40.639 --> 00:34:44.880
And they deserve a way to know that they are also supported.

00:34:45.119 --> 00:34:59.519
Number two, if you are somebody under 25 years old, please do everything you can to take advantage of the time that you have with people who are older than you.

00:34:59.679 --> 00:35:08.639
It might be a grandparent, it could be a teacher, but you don't know what those conversations could mean later.

00:35:08.880 --> 00:35:15.199
And when you look back over life, regret is the one thing you really don't want to have.

00:35:15.760 --> 00:35:22.800
Because you can't get rid of it, you can't erase it, you can't uh work yourself out of it, and ain't enough money to get rid of regret.

00:35:23.360 --> 00:35:33.360
The big thing is be ten toes down, fully experienced and enjoy wherever you are in that moment with those individuals.

00:35:33.679 --> 00:35:44.400
Maybe they're just a little bit older than you, they might be an older cousin, but you don't know how that will impact you and get you prepared for things later in life, like caregiving.

00:35:44.480 --> 00:35:48.239
They don't have caregiving school yet, at least not that I know about.

00:35:48.719 --> 00:35:52.639
Number three, this is to all my existing family caregivers.

00:35:53.119 --> 00:36:02.400
Yes, this shit is hard, but there are more and more people who are becoming aware of our flight, of our journey, of our struggle.

00:36:02.719 --> 00:36:04.800
So don't lose heart.

00:36:05.679 --> 00:36:06.639
Don't give up.

00:36:06.800 --> 00:36:07.920
Take the breaks.

00:36:08.239 --> 00:36:11.679
Brandon said he made sure that he gets vacation.

00:36:12.159 --> 00:36:21.920
What is the thing that you know you got to get and you got to do to stay psychologically whole, to stay physically healthy, to stay well.

00:36:22.480 --> 00:36:23.840
What is it that you have to do?

00:36:23.920 --> 00:36:26.000
Because we can't get through this without you.

00:36:26.480 --> 00:36:33.519
Yes, we want a cure, we want research, but until then, it's family caregivers that are making this thing work.

00:36:34.639 --> 00:36:34.880
Alright?

00:36:35.920 --> 00:36:36.719
So take care of you.

00:36:38.239 --> 00:36:39.440
Thank you for tuning in.

00:36:39.599 --> 00:36:43.840
I mean, really, really, really thank you so very much for tuning in.

00:36:44.159 --> 00:36:52.159
Whether you're watching this on YouTube or if you're listening on your favorite podcast audio platform.

00:36:52.320 --> 00:36:55.440
Either way, wherever you are, subscribe.

00:36:55.679 --> 00:36:56.400
Come back.

00:36:56.559 --> 00:36:59.599
That's the way you're gonna know when we do something next.

00:36:59.840 --> 00:37:00.719
Y'all know how it is.

00:37:00.800 --> 00:37:01.760
I'm Jay Smiles.

00:37:01.840 --> 00:37:05.119
I might just drop something hot in the middle of the night.