“Let More Go”
I’m J Smiles, comedian, Alzheimer’s and Dementia activist, and family caregiver. You may know me from Parenting Up™, where we’re a family of caregivers taking care of our family members together. Welcome to P.U.B. the Parenting Up Blog.
In my opinion, no greater words were ever spoken: Let more go. It is something that sometimes has to be learned, but it's well worth the lesson. When you allow negative things to roll off your shoulders more freely, the less stress you will feel. There's already much stress that comes with being a caregiver, it comes with the territory. And it can be one thing to deal with known stresses that you're able to at least semi-prepare for. But those unexpected stresses that come out of nowhere are something different. This is where the importance of letting it go comes into play. Yes, it's good to let go of stresses that you see coming; stress is stress after all. But when something appears out of nowhere that is beyond your control, the best thing you can try to do is seek something good in that situation, focus on that, and allow the rest to roll off. Because eventually, more stressful situations are a day away.
Regardless of the time you spend with your LO, it can be full time or part time, the time you spend with them, you are the center of their world. The energy that you bring into your presence with them, is the energy that they will absorb and react to. So it is important to be mindful that it is not just about you. You are valued and appreciated for taking in that sacrifice of being a caregiver, but your LO is just as important if not more important than you. And by that, I mean in the sense that if something negative appears, they deserve for you to let it go, than you do to yourself. Because believe it or not, they are fighting the hardest battle.
I understand that it's easy to forget that sometimes. As the caregiver, you have to take your LO to appointments, clean after them, feed them; in some instances, you become the parent. That comes with a stress factor that someone who hasn't experienced being a caregiver would understand. I recognize you for making such a decision that over half of humanity wouldn't make, thus the nursing homes filled with elderly living with dementia or Alzheimer's. Again, you are appreciated. But also again, that stress factor has nothing on losing the memories of the life you lived. Can you imagine? Neither of us can until it knock at our door. But today, in this moment, you are the adult. You are the responsible party. You are the one in the caregiver-LO relationship that has the power and grace to let...more...go!
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🎧Full audio podcast episode for this blog post: I'm on the edge of quitting Caregiving!
