Nov. 10, 2025

Is Caregiving Your Calling?

What does it look like to choose love—and keep choosing it, day after day? We sit down with JET, a grandson who decided his grandmother with dementia wouldn’t go to a facility. He brought her into his home, rebuilt his life around her needs, and learned how dignity lives in small rituals: clean sheets, a sharp outfit, a slow stroll through every aisle at the market just to smell the spices. It’s funny, tender, and honest about what caretaking really takes.

JET walks us through the first clues that something was off—credit-card charges, memberships, late-night orders—and how financial habits can be early flags in Alzheimer’s and dementia care. You’ll hear how a neighbor, Miss Tommy, became an unsung hero, how overnight shifts kept the lights on, and why community might be the most underrated part of elder care.

We talk about men in caregiving, identity, and what competence really looks like when schedules, bathing, meds, and meals collide. There’s laughter—coriander adventures and “field trips” down grocery aisles—and there’s grief.

If you’re navigating dementia, Alzheimer’s, or family caregiving, you’ll leave with practical ideas: build your support early, accept help without guilt, protect dignity through small routines, and keep joy on the calendar. Most of all, you’ll feel less alone. Subscribe, leave a review, and share this with someone who’s carrying the load—what’s one small ritual that kept you going?

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"Alzheimer's is heavy but we ain't gotta be!"
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TEXT 'PODCAST" to +1 404 737 1449 - to give J topic ideas, feedback, say hi!
Be sure to leave us a review!

00:00 - Warm Welcome & Shoutouts

02:35 - Meet Jet: Why He Stepped In

05:20 - Early Signs, Money Clues, And Diagnosis

08:20 - Power Of Attorney, Family Tension, Big Decision

11:05 - Building A Day-To-Day Care Routine

14:30 - Community Help And Miss Tommy’s Rescue

18:20 - Gender, Identity, And Caregiving Stereotypes

21:40 - Food, Field Trips, And Finding Joy

25:10 - Decline, Coping, And Night Caps

28:00 - Double Loss: Father And Grandmother

33:10 - Choosing Yourself After Care Ends

36:30 - Grief, Work As Distraction, Starting Over

40:20 - Advice To New Caregivers: Build Support

44:00 - Host Snuggle Up & Closing CTA

WEBVTT

00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:05.440
Up said hey Mop needs to go and ask someone else out.

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I'm gonna get it in a tell you what's not gonna happen.

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How does that go?

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If you press on, that means there's a good rest of the heavy that might have been like you don't think it was just with comedian data.

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It's the expectation of unexpected and fully responsible for my mom.

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I've been full of the windows of the training for her.

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I hope you enjoy my daughter's today's supporter shout out is from YouTube at Latrell Petit 4066.

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Congratulations, Janae.

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Happy birthday, Queen Zetti.

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Party hat emoji and red heart emoji.

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Thank you so very much.

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Zetty is a queen, and it was a happy birthday indeed.

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If you would like to be the recipient of a supporter shout out, and I hope you want to be, because I can't wait to hear from you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or Instagram.

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We are Parenting Up Everywhere.

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Today's episode is Caregiving Your Calling.

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Family, you know what it is, you know what it does.

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It's your girl Jay Smiles, and we're about to pop into a hot and hilarious episode with my guy.

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Some call him Jet, like the magazine.

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Some people say he said Jet Black because he happens to not be light-skinned.

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I don't think that's any of it.

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I see Jet because what he does is take over the room fast.

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Phew! Just like airplanes do.

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Okay?

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So my guy, Jamel Terrell.

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Nope, that's not his middle name.

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That is the last name, which is why I told y'all Jet.

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There's an E in there.

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We ain't getting into all of that.

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I met this dude before anything about caregiving.

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He knew my daddy.

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So y'all know this is a soft spot in my heart.

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All right, Jet, how you doing, baby?

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Good, baby.

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Good to be here with you, Janae.

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Good to be here with you.

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Thank you.

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Absolutely.

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Now, listen, we met, I ain't gonna even say.

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Right, please.

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And emons to you young people, that means two weeks, okay?

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Exactly.

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Pick it up, ask your mama.

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We'll get to how I met you and why I've known you that long.

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Okay.

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A little later.

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Okay.

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But right now, this is the Parenting Up Podcast.

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We are here to talk about being a family caregiver for individuals with dementia, Alzheimer's, uh, Parkinson's, anything in a dementia family.

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And before we get into how crazy you are, just for no reason, I want to talk about your life as a caregiver.

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So you actually were deep in it.

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Deep.

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Tell us about who did you care for?

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My grandmother.

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Okay.

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Murphy May.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Murfree.

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Okay.

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Oh, Murphy.

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Murphy.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Um, yeah, my grandmother.

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Um, very, very important figure in my life.

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Okay.

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Very important figure in my life.

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And um, just a really unique lady.

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And I mean, like all of us, we have grandmothers that we love just poured into us and everything like that.

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So um, when it got time for her to, when she started to decline um some really hard questions, you know, going on in the family.

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And to me, I'm like a really, you know me, I'm really lighthearted and everything like that.

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And to me, it just wasn't a question.

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Like, this lady taught me how to love me.

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So how I cannot like give that back.

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Exactly.

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So it was just one of those things, it was just like a no-brainer.

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Now I did not know what I was getting myself into.

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Had you known.

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Well, no, no, okay.

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Okay.

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Had I known, I think I still would have done it, but um I probably would have uh implored a lot more help.

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I love that.

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I would have.

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I definitely.

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Looking back on it, you would have established a crew, a network, a support system in advance.

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So tell me, and this is for our viewers and listeners who might be very new to this, okay?

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Because we get people from all over the world.

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Some, their family members got diagnosed last week.

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Okay.

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Others, the family member is now in heaven.

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So it's a wide range.

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Okay.

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Did you see your grandmother declining before she was diagnosed?

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Did you say, hey, you know what?

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I know people get old and they forget where your purse is, but something ain't right with her.

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Did you have that?

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No.

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Embarrassingly, I did not.

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Don't be embarrassed.

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I was embarrassed because I'm so close with her.

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And it was like, what happened, Janae?

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She started reverting back to, like, yes, she had gotten older and everything like that, a little bit of slow pace and things like that.

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Um, her mind was still really, really good all the way up until the end.

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Okay.

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But this is what um the triggers that the little indicators that started to come.

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Um, one day, my uncle, who lived in DC, he um, we were talking about, because he was her power of attorney.

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Okay.

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And so we were talking about um some of her bills.

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Something, something that had happened or whatever.

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My grandmother would stay up late and watch these infomercials, and all of a sudden, she was paying like$2,000 for the Cat Society.

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And she had bought like uh, she had re-established her um wine club collection and everything like that.

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Now, as embarrassed as I was about not knowing that the dementia was onset of the, I'm thinking that my grandfather, she always had book clubs, wine clubs, all that stuff like that.

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I'm just thinking that, hey, she's still turning up.

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She's still turning up, right?

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And it was, and the wine was great.

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So And who doesn't want a little wine?

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Who don't want a little wine?

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Okay, okay.

00:07:26.000 --> 00:07:27.839
So, um Now, where was she living at the time?

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In St.

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Louis.

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Me and my grandmother were in St.

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Louis, and my Uncle Donald was in D.C.

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He was an attorney, and you know, obviously, because that's her son, you know, she felt comfortable with having him as power of attorney.

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But I was day-to-day uh caregiver.

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I gotcha.

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And so initially it was fine because she was in her house, I was in my house.

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Okay.

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Um, but then after he so many calls started to come, okay, I knew that I had to, we had to be together.

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Okay.

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So did she ask you to move in?

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Did the family ask you to move in, or you did that on your own?

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Um, I did that on my own.

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And I I did it on my own.

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Um, my uncle had made this, had made this executive decision that he was going to come and put her in a facility.

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And that just did not work for me.

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So I made the decision that she's just gonna come to my house.

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Okay.

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And that's what we're gonna do.

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Unc said, hey, mama needs to go and have someone help out.

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I'm gonna get her in a facility.

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Jet said, I'm gonna tell you what's not gonna happen.

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Mama about to be with me.

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Here's my question.

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How did that go over in the family?

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Because you, if you the grandson, that means there's a generation ahead of you, children that might have opinions that you don't share.

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Correct.

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Okay.

00:08:45.519 --> 00:08:47.360
And that was a great way of saying that, Jay.

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Because that it really was exactly how it happened in my family.

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Um, yeah, I guess I did overstep.

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You know, in hindsight, I guess I did.

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Um, but I don't regret it, A, because I know my heart was in a good place.

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And then B, um, which is probably more importantly, is that I was boots on the ground.

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Okay.

00:09:11.759 --> 00:09:13.440
So my Uncle Donald, like I said, was in DC.

00:09:13.519 --> 00:09:18.559
I had another uncle in San Francisco, and then my dad was there, but um There we go.

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That's a whole nother conversation.

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That's right.

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Because I care good, I was a his caregiver as well.

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Okay.

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All right.

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So, um, because they weren't there, um, I felt like my opinion superseded theirs.

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Yeah, I'm for it.

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So I don't think there's anything to apologize about.

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I just wondered if they gave you hell.

00:09:40.799 --> 00:09:45.759
Well, they did give me hell, and I do all so, you know, black folks, southern families, and stuff like that.

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It's not necessarily apologies, but you are very um concerned about stepping on toes, especially when it's uh members of the the the previous generation.

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It's just something about a sense of respect and like it's just how hierarchy of things and how we all go.

00:10:01.440 --> 00:10:06.639
So I was concerned, and it and they did kind of give me a little hard of, you know, a little hard time.

00:10:07.200 --> 00:10:16.000
Um but I think that after they all realized how well I was taking care of their mother, then it just became like, oh, okay, okay.

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And then I honestly think that they were happy that somebody, I kind of relieved them in a certain kind of way.

00:10:24.799 --> 00:10:24.879
Right.

00:10:25.200 --> 00:10:27.039
In a way that they could trust, they could trust you.

00:10:27.200 --> 00:10:27.440
Yes.

00:10:27.679 --> 00:10:29.279
They knew you were connected to her.

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Yes.

00:10:30.080 --> 00:10:36.639
And like, let's just be bold and frank with it, that meant they didn't have to pay for the facilities.

00:10:36.960 --> 00:10:38.799
They didn't have to check on her.

00:10:38.879 --> 00:10:39.039
Yep.

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They didn't have to come do a weekend.

00:10:40.879 --> 00:10:41.039
Yep.

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Because baby boy got it.

00:10:42.559 --> 00:10:42.960
Exactly.

00:10:43.200 --> 00:10:47.360
I noticed you named a daddy and a couple of uncles.

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That's all men.

00:10:50.159 --> 00:10:50.639
Yes.

00:10:50.960 --> 00:10:53.200
And there were any daughters, granddaughters?

00:10:53.440 --> 00:10:53.519
No.

00:10:54.159 --> 00:10:55.840
No daughters, no granddaughters.

00:10:56.080 --> 00:11:00.639
Now, you know, it's not the most common story in family caregiving.

00:11:00.720 --> 00:11:01.039
Uh-huh.

00:11:01.279 --> 00:11:07.840
Where it's all sons and grandsons, and then the grandson says, I got mama.

00:11:08.159 --> 00:11:08.639
Right.

00:11:09.039 --> 00:11:11.120
Had you been a caregiver ever before?

00:11:11.279 --> 00:11:12.720
Did you think about nursing?

00:11:12.879 --> 00:11:17.279
Did look, did you do um CPR at the Y?

00:11:17.600 --> 00:11:17.759
Nope.

00:11:17.840 --> 00:11:19.120
Nope, nope, no.

00:11:19.519 --> 00:11:24.480
Um, but I wasn't afraid of that.

00:11:24.720 --> 00:11:25.360
Why not?

00:11:25.519 --> 00:11:27.440
Because I had spent a lot of time with my grandmother.

00:11:27.600 --> 00:11:27.840
Okay.

00:11:28.240 --> 00:11:30.480
Like, like a lot of time.

00:11:31.120 --> 00:11:32.000
Like all the time.

00:11:32.240 --> 00:11:32.960
Like all the time.

00:11:33.120 --> 00:11:33.279
Yeah.

00:11:33.519 --> 00:11:46.480
And she was um, when I tell you, when I say, I kind of like uh kind of tongue in cheek when I say um she taught me how to love myself before I she taught me how to love me.

00:11:46.639 --> 00:11:46.799
Okay.

00:11:47.039 --> 00:11:48.879
That's not hyperbole at all.

00:11:49.039 --> 00:11:50.480
This is a real, real thing.

00:11:50.559 --> 00:11:53.600
And because of that, our bond was just there.

00:11:54.000 --> 00:11:56.240
Now, she was a particular woman.

00:11:56.559 --> 00:12:02.240
So I didn't know um all of that until I got into it.

00:12:02.399 --> 00:12:02.720
Uh-huh.

00:12:03.039 --> 00:12:15.600
Um, but I just felt like even if we were able to find the best facility ever with the best caregivers ever, they're gonna have more than just her to deal with.

00:12:15.919 --> 00:12:23.279
And I just didn't want her to have to wait one second for anything, any of the stuff, any of the services that she needed.

00:12:23.759 --> 00:12:25.759
My grandmama ain't gonna be sitting peeked.

00:12:26.000 --> 00:12:26.480
Exactly.

00:12:26.639 --> 00:12:27.279
See, I tried to.

00:12:27.519 --> 00:12:29.440
So tell the truth, baby.

00:12:29.600 --> 00:12:34.480
Parents and up podcasts, we cuss, we dime out other family members.

00:12:34.639 --> 00:12:35.360
Yes, yes, okay.

00:12:35.519 --> 00:12:36.399
Because shit, they did it.

00:12:36.480 --> 00:12:37.759
We didn't do it, we just telling the story.

00:12:38.000 --> 00:12:38.799
Absolutely, absolutely.

00:12:39.039 --> 00:12:42.159
And that's so okay, so now I didn't want her to sit in nothing.

00:12:42.320 --> 00:12:42.720
That's fine.

00:12:43.039 --> 00:12:43.360
For too long.

00:12:43.519 --> 00:12:43.759
That's fine.

00:12:44.000 --> 00:12:49.440
You know, she this lady was a very particular one the way she didn't leave the house without a face on and all of the stuff.

00:12:49.759 --> 00:12:55.519
And so I wanted her to transition with some dignity.

00:12:55.679 --> 00:12:56.240
I love it.

00:12:56.399 --> 00:12:57.279
And integrity.

00:12:57.440 --> 00:13:00.559
And um now, what was your career at the time?

00:13:01.679 --> 00:13:04.960
So the legal part.

00:13:05.200 --> 00:13:07.440
Well, so I had taken a break.

00:13:07.519 --> 00:13:13.519
So I was working for the mayor in Atlanta, and then I had um left because she had a slip and fall first.

00:13:14.399 --> 00:13:17.679
Um you went you moved back because of her.

00:13:18.000 --> 00:13:18.240
Yes.

00:13:19.039 --> 00:13:21.519
Even before you were full-time per se.

00:13:21.840 --> 00:13:22.080
Correct.

00:13:22.240 --> 00:13:24.559
You actually moved back home because of her needs.

00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:24.960
Correct.

00:13:25.120 --> 00:13:25.840
That's my story too.

00:13:26.000 --> 00:13:27.039
That's what got me back to the South.

00:13:27.279 --> 00:13:27.919
Caring for people.

00:13:28.080 --> 00:13:28.320
Yep.

00:13:28.559 --> 00:13:28.799
Wow.

00:13:28.879 --> 00:13:29.279
I'm not sure.

00:13:30.080 --> 00:13:30.799
My grandparents.

00:13:30.960 --> 00:13:31.279
Oh.

00:13:31.519 --> 00:13:35.519
It was my mom's mom who got ill, and I said, I gotta get back to the South.

00:13:35.759 --> 00:13:36.159
Wow.

00:13:36.320 --> 00:13:36.639
Yeah.

00:13:36.879 --> 00:13:37.200
Okay.

00:13:37.840 --> 00:13:40.720
Yeah, I I found it though for a minute, because I didn't want to go back home.

00:13:40.879 --> 00:13:40.960
St.

00:13:41.120 --> 00:13:41.840
Louis is not any.

00:13:42.399 --> 00:13:42.960
It's not Atlanta.

00:13:43.120 --> 00:13:43.679
It's not Atlanta.

00:13:43.840 --> 00:13:44.480
Let's leave it at that.

00:13:44.639 --> 00:13:44.799
Okay.

00:13:45.039 --> 00:13:46.720
Just in case somebody from the loo watched this.

00:13:46.799 --> 00:13:46.960
Okay.

00:13:47.039 --> 00:13:48.960
And they're like, I know he damn sure didn't.

00:13:49.919 --> 00:13:51.600
Alright, so but you get back there.

00:13:51.759 --> 00:13:52.000
Yes.

00:13:52.480 --> 00:13:54.399
How old was she when she was diagnosed?

00:13:54.559 --> 00:13:54.879
Ish.

00:13:55.360 --> 00:13:58.159
Um 91.

00:13:58.559 --> 00:13:59.759
Oh, so she was kicking it.

00:13:59.840 --> 00:14:00.080
Oh, yeah.

00:14:00.480 --> 00:14:02.080
She had been living by herself that long.

00:14:02.240 --> 00:14:02.720
That long.

00:14:03.039 --> 00:14:03.919
What did she eat?

00:14:04.240 --> 00:14:06.480
I need to go ahead and pick that up on the way home.

00:14:06.720 --> 00:14:10.240
Well, she raised and she taught me how to raise some Swiss shards.

00:14:10.320 --> 00:14:10.559
Okay.

00:14:10.720 --> 00:14:15.519
We raised um so much peas, uh, cabbage, uh, tomatoes.

00:14:15.679 --> 00:14:22.240
Um one year we did a um some watermelon up the tree, you know, because they gotta grow up and with a little yellow flower in there.

00:14:22.559 --> 00:14:24.080
Yeah, so we had to do all of that.

00:14:24.320 --> 00:14:28.080
But um, so she and she always felt like So that's organic.

00:14:28.240 --> 00:14:28.720
It's organic.

00:14:28.879 --> 00:14:30.879
Look, for the kids, that means organic.

00:14:30.960 --> 00:14:33.440
If you grow it in your own backyard, organic.

00:14:33.679 --> 00:14:34.320
Please and thanks.

00:14:35.120 --> 00:14:36.080
Yes, okra.

00:14:36.480 --> 00:14:37.200
Okay, I love that.

00:14:37.519 --> 00:14:40.000
Um just all the things, man.

00:14:40.159 --> 00:14:47.440
And it was um it was a blessing to be able to spend that kind of quality time with her.

00:14:47.519 --> 00:14:48.639
And I didn't know it at the time.

00:14:48.799 --> 00:14:52.480
You never know um the assignment when you're in it, kind of thing.

00:14:52.799 --> 00:15:00.159
But some of the nuggets that she gave me, like I remember one time we were out back in our garden and she was and she was like, Jamel, I believe that this is the key to life.

00:15:00.240 --> 00:15:03.200
It's like you have to physically put your hands in the earth.

00:15:03.440 --> 00:15:04.159
Oh wow.

00:15:04.399 --> 00:15:06.639
And um, and that always stuck with me.

00:15:06.879 --> 00:15:07.679
That's a big deal.

00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:08.320
It is.

00:15:08.480 --> 00:15:09.440
I thought so anyway.

00:15:09.600 --> 00:15:11.200
I mean, we out here in this beautiful park.

00:15:11.279 --> 00:15:14.960
I'm about to go grab me some dirt and just roll it all around my arms.

00:15:15.360 --> 00:15:16.000
Take your shoes off.

00:15:16.960 --> 00:15:17.919
It can't hurt nothing.

00:15:18.080 --> 00:15:19.600
Everything is crazy as hell right now.

00:15:19.679 --> 00:15:20.399
You can't hurt.

00:15:20.639 --> 00:15:21.519
Gosh, don't even mention it.

00:15:21.759 --> 00:15:22.320
I'm not, I'm not.

00:15:22.639 --> 00:15:23.440
Don't even mention it.

00:15:23.600 --> 00:15:24.240
I'm not.

00:15:24.559 --> 00:15:30.240
Did you find yourself needing caregivers to come into the home to give you breaks?

00:15:30.480 --> 00:15:33.039
Did you have family members, neighbors?

00:15:33.360 --> 00:15:35.519
Obviously, you weren't in the house 24-7.

00:15:36.320 --> 00:15:40.159
In the moments where you weren't in the house, how did you handle that?

00:15:41.120 --> 00:15:45.519
Um, not the best, I don't, looking back in hindsight.

00:15:45.759 --> 00:15:48.320
So I think that um.

00:15:49.919 --> 00:15:53.120
Oh wow, you are really unpacking a lot of stuff here.

00:15:53.679 --> 00:16:01.279
Okay, so Janae, because there was an all-male crew in my in a family or whatever, I think that, and it was a little contentious first.

00:16:01.600 --> 00:16:04.480
I think that I was hell bent on being right.

00:16:04.799 --> 00:16:07.440
Uh I was hell bent on being right.

00:16:07.600 --> 00:16:14.720
And because of that, I didn't employ help from my uncles and from my cousins and stuff like that.

00:16:15.039 --> 00:16:18.159
So um I had a hard time.

00:16:18.320 --> 00:16:18.639
Okay.

00:16:19.039 --> 00:16:24.879
Um, but I had a neighbor that was two, three doors down.

00:16:25.039 --> 00:16:25.360
Okay.

00:16:25.919 --> 00:16:32.159
And she saw me one day, me and my grandmother, we used to go on Saturday mornings, we would go, we would do our three S's.

00:16:32.320 --> 00:16:34.080
Schnooks, Sular, and Sam's.

00:16:34.159 --> 00:16:34.320
Oh.

00:16:34.639 --> 00:16:34.879
Okay.

00:16:35.120 --> 00:16:36.480
And that's what my grandmother thing.

00:16:36.639 --> 00:16:37.519
She loved doing all of that.

00:16:37.759 --> 00:16:42.159
Soulard was a um uh uh was a um is a farmer's market.

00:16:42.320 --> 00:16:42.399
Okay.

00:16:42.559 --> 00:16:45.440
And then Schnooks is another grocery store, and then Sam's for her bulk.

00:16:45.519 --> 00:16:45.600
Okay.

00:16:45.919 --> 00:16:48.720
And then we come back in and then she starts preparing stuff.

00:16:48.879 --> 00:16:49.200
I love it.

00:16:49.519 --> 00:17:01.120
So this neighbor, uh, Miss Tommy, Miss Tommy saw me and my grandmother coming in one Saturday, and she didn't say anything or whatever, but a couple weeks later she was like, Oh, you take care of your grandmother.

00:17:01.200 --> 00:17:02.480
I was like, Yeah, she's like, okay.

00:17:02.639 --> 00:17:06.480
She was like, Well, you know, if you ever need anything, kind of let me know.

00:17:06.799 --> 00:17:08.400
So I was like, all right, fine.

00:17:09.680 --> 00:17:11.599
Now nobody's independently wealthy.

00:17:11.920 --> 00:17:13.519
So I need to, so I need to work.

00:17:14.079 --> 00:17:14.319
Okay.

00:17:14.880 --> 00:17:16.319
But how can I work?

00:17:16.480 --> 00:17:21.279
So I got this job at this hotel two blocks away from the house.

00:17:21.519 --> 00:17:22.000
What?

00:17:22.240 --> 00:17:22.960
Overnight.

00:17:23.279 --> 00:17:23.680
What?

00:17:23.839 --> 00:17:28.720
So after I put her down, I would call Miss Tommy and be like, Miss Tommy, she down.

00:17:28.880 --> 00:17:29.119
Okay.

00:17:29.359 --> 00:17:30.319
You got a key.

00:17:30.480 --> 00:17:33.119
When I'm about to go to work, I'll be back at 7 o'clock.

00:17:33.200 --> 00:17:36.400
Like, you know, if anything happened between, just let me know.

00:17:36.640 --> 00:17:38.319
So that's how I manage that.

00:17:38.400 --> 00:17:42.640
And then all the other stuff, um, I didn't really didn't get a pregnant.

00:17:42.799 --> 00:17:43.680
I gotta say this.

00:17:43.920 --> 00:17:57.039
Shout out to all the Miss Tommies, okay, across the world that see the family caregiver and ask us what we need before we even know to make a request.

00:17:57.119 --> 00:17:57.279
Yes.

00:17:57.759 --> 00:17:58.079
Yes.

00:17:58.319 --> 00:18:00.400
And then they actually show up and do it.

00:18:00.640 --> 00:18:02.960
Well, see, this is the thing about that, Janae.

00:18:03.200 --> 00:18:26.480
I think that I think that we lose, I think we lost community as the generation's gotten down because it seemed like to me that all the older people like that that were concerned with her, anytime we would go out and they would see me with her, like it just was, it was, it was, it was unbelievable, like a whole world unlocked.

00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:28.400
Okay of of elderly people.

00:18:28.640 --> 00:18:36.480
This is this weren't people like my age or whatever, they just saw me taking care of her, and then they would come up to me at Sam's and say, Oh, this is all good, baby.

00:18:37.119 --> 00:18:39.440
You need anything, let me grab that for you.

00:18:40.480 --> 00:18:42.720
Like, I'm 6'6, I can get it, ma'am, but thank you.

00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:44.000
And thank you, stranger.

00:18:44.160 --> 00:18:44.319
Yes.

00:18:44.799 --> 00:18:49.519
When my family members and friends and maybe not have been around as often.

00:18:49.759 --> 00:18:57.279
I think that when people um share a common bond, it makes them want to be of in service.

00:18:57.519 --> 00:18:57.839
I love it.

00:18:58.079 --> 00:18:58.240
You know.

00:18:58.480 --> 00:18:58.799
I love it.

00:18:59.119 --> 00:18:59.839
I love it.

00:19:00.079 --> 00:19:08.799
I remember you telling me in our little prep pre- uh chat about this that uh it was funny to me.

00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:09.039
Okay.

00:19:09.359 --> 00:19:19.519
That you said uh the men in your family and the generation above, they said, Well, we know we know why you're good at taking care of mama.

00:19:21.200 --> 00:19:22.480
That shit had me rolling.

00:19:22.559 --> 00:19:23.359
Yeah, it is.

00:19:23.440 --> 00:19:23.759
You know what?

00:19:24.559 --> 00:19:33.519
Go ahead and share with the people why why your uncles and your daddies said, well, the only reason why you better than us at taking care of mama is because you gay.

00:19:36.160 --> 00:19:36.559
Yeah.

00:19:39.279 --> 00:19:40.160
That is listening.

00:19:40.400 --> 00:19:44.400
I we are, let me say this, we are sitting in the park.

00:19:44.720 --> 00:19:49.759
We just participated in the walk to end Alzheimer's.

00:19:49.839 --> 00:19:57.359
It is the biggest Alzheimer's day of awareness and money raising ever to exist.

00:19:58.319 --> 00:20:05.599
And we have watched everybody break the stuff down, and now the sun is shining, and we got trees behind us and birds chirping.

00:20:06.000 --> 00:20:10.720
I almost fell off the chair the way he said, Well, because you gay.

00:20:10.880 --> 00:20:17.680
Now, what's hilarious to me and also bullshit is that why they couldn't just let you have it.

00:20:17.839 --> 00:20:23.279
Just let it be that you're good at something that they could use some improvement.

00:20:23.359 --> 00:20:24.559
But no, no, no, no, no.

00:20:24.720 --> 00:20:31.920

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