Episodes

J Smiles takes a big trip to Washington, DC to celebrate the 100th anniversary of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. She is elated to take a such a meaningful vacation. A newbie caregiver at the time, J is looking forward to reclaiming free time and fun with college friends. She is shocked when the umbrella of love and joy causes a revolt in her spirit. She is emotionally paralyzed and needs to figure out the triggers. Is this an one off or a pattern for the future? Smiles' travel companions are...

For once J is able to get Zetty in the bed before 2am, excited and sound asleep all hell breaks loose when the house alarm blares "intruder alert." J is delirious, rubbing her eyes and trying to determine what to do. One thing is clear, secure Zetty in the bedroom. The problem is Zetty refuses to stay in the bedroom and demands to follow J to investigate the house. J has navigate her fear, confusion and intense desire to protect Zetty. What unfold is anything but a routine night. J Smiles she...

J Smiles believes that dating is self care. The problem is she cannot seem to secure a date. She takes the listener on a journey of her pre-caregiver dating existence. After Zetty's ALZ diagnosis, there is so much sacrifice, routine, schedule, doctor's appointments, sorrow and exhaustion often J is too overwhelmed to try. J Smiles shares humorous positive and negative caregiver dating stories. She doesn't see a clear pattern. But she is focused on figuring it out. Can caregivers have a health...

Caregiving is so nuanced. We can identify the major things swiftly -- medicine and food must be consumed; bills paid and so on. What happens when non-harmful modifications appear? Those creature comforts - habits - preferences that you are accustomed to your LO choosing like clockwork. Perhaps it is always drinking coffee in the morning or wearing pajama pants instead of a nightgown... a favorite watch or red lipstick. These subtleties can sting us more than we realize. J Smiles recounts suppo...

Who knew skipping sleep could add up so quickly? Not, J Smiles! What J believed was a supernatural power is now bad for her. She struggles -- yet again -- to accept a monumental shift. Most of her life she has functioned on much less than 8hrs of sleep per night. An easy peasy chat with her therapist opened a door J didn't even know existed. Problem? What problem? A mountain of questions later, J is scrambling to understand the merits of "sleep hygiene", wondering how her's got dirty and prayi...

J Smiles opens Season 2 with a riveting story of personal panic. J wakes up but cannot find Zetty anywhere. On vacation and without her local support system, J scrambles to create a strategy to trace Zetty's steps. But where to start? What time did Zetty leave? How did she get out? Did anyone see her? Learn the remarkable ways ALZ Zetty outsmarted healthy adults. Hotel security is forced to involve the local Police. In the end, J is even more convinced that mainstream society is clueless as to...

Omar Hamilton joins J Smiles on a deep dive into the life of a child flying blindly into the foggy cognitive abyss of a parent. Omar's dad was living independently and quite self sufficient. Or so everyone thought. Omar, a classic New Yorker, moved swiftly as soon as his father's decline was obvious. But Omar was perplexed. He saw his dad often. They dined weekly, spoke daily --- how did things unravel so much, so quickly? J gets Omar to reveal the hassle of relocation, real estate, the worry ...

J Smiles and Erika have been thick as theives for over 20 yrs. Howard University and Delta Sigma Theta Sorority cemented their relationship. But as only kids who love to travel, who appreciate fine dining, who have never missed a proper brunch and who seamlessly merge Rosé with a Rick Ross beat... they take the listener on Erika's abrupt realization of her mom's cognitive decline as if recounting one of their jaunts in Washington, D.C. Erika's dry wit mixes very well with J's storytelling. Even...

Zetty throws J Smiles off with a request for a cell phone. What seems like a simple ask turns into a quest for the holy grail. For Zetty, J soon realizes it is a dignity issue too. J Smiles takes listeners on a rollercoaster journey of communication product assessments. She points out design features created to improve the lives of seniors. Question is does J agree. Will any of the items help a dementia/ALZ sufferer like Zetty? J Smiles leans into her product design and engineering expertise t...

Alzheimer's disease is very mysterious. Caregivers are often guessing what their LO's (loved ones) are feeling, experiencing, etc. CG's live a life of magical charades. The first time ALZ shows up in an ordinary daily event can turn a caregiver's heart on tilt. J Smiles takes time to share a handful of specific examples of just that. She was not prepared for the initial instance when Zetty did not recognize herself in a photograph. There are many things that science can track but this is an ar...

Chef Angela (Angela Gorham) joins J Smiles for an in-the-trenches-right-now-conversation. Like J, she is single, childless and her mom's full-time caregiver. Another commonality, another's death made their mother's Alzheimer's undeniable. Listen for Ms Gorham's shocking thrust from condo to caregiver. With less than one year of caregiving under her belt, Chef Angela asks J pertinent and picky questions as an OG caregiver. Such honest inquiries set the stage for a meaningful exchange not loss on...

J Smiles lets listeners meet another main "crew" member, a major supporter on her journey as a caregiver, Monica Cost. Interestingly, their bond started as adults through civic board membership. But wow, did they make up for 'lost' time. With many natural connections - members of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc., HBCU'ers, and free spirits they became fast friends. Monica calmly recounts rocky moments in J's life. Monica was physically present with J Smiles when Jocko had his heart-attack. She ...

Caregivers experience quite a few dark, negative emotions. Often they are ashamed to shared such feelings aloud. J Smiles tackles frustration in hopes of normalizing this "negative" expression. She uses a variety of funny and not-so-humorous memories with Zetty to drive the point home. According to Smiles, frustration looms always. She sites expert's coping mechanisms throughout the episode. Even better J Smiles digs deep, tells the truth and leaves the listener with her own bag of tricks to mi...

Caregivers experience a tsunami of emotions. Positive, negative, neutral, unspeakable. J Smiles tackles resentment. She uses very specific examples of pain and purpose to expose her journey of uncovering this tricky emotion. A conversation with a member of Kevin Hart's team really drives home the point of how quickly J must pivot in day to day decisions. She speaks truth to the loneliness of caregiving and offers respite in the concept of self-forgiveness. J Smiles uses her unique storytelling...

Routine does not mean regular when it comes to doctors office visits for Zetty. Much to J Smiles dismay, these common appointments are quite eventful. Ever the observant comedic advocate, J Smiles gives the listener a first ear-view of several actual annual exams Zetty was forced to endure. You will never prepare a urine sample the same again. J offers a sprinkling of solutions to doctors and medical equipment manufacturers. ### Toilet Hat (collect urine while seated) https://www.walmart.com/i...

Quirky, honest storytelling. J Smiles files solo recounting a series of unrelated true events that remind us it will all be okay in the end, one way or another. Each memory spotlights how simple slips into complex and how common is not always ordinary. J Smiles gives the listener a moment to pause and chuckle at some of the unbelievably-random-silly things that a caregiver faces. The theme is decidedly light and easygoing. Here, J also indirectly admits when Zetty, even with Alzheimer's, has ou...

Choices and options are celebrated all over the world. Everyday we are encouraged to expand more, try more, do more. We are trained to avoid boredom at all cost. And definitely never become too bland or predictable. J Smiles asks the listener to trash this thinking. Alzheimer's created a need for patterns, repetition and routines in her mom's life. J treads lightly putting variety in Zetty's day. Smiles uses quirky yet truthful stories of when too much variety bit her in the butt. The overarchi...

J Smiles moves swiftly to shed light on a normalized bias in the United States that really irks her. The legal marginalization of the elderly. She gives examples of how lawmakers and policy pushers have not included Alzheimer's sufferers in their protective based legislations. She parallels television parental controls for minors and seeks the same progressive choices for caregivers. Ever the storyteller, and always with levity, J Smiles paints a picture of the immediate harm currently experien...

J Smiles lets listeners meet one of her main crew members, one her biggest supporters on her journey as a caregiver, Christine Beatty. Their bond started as members of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. at Howard University almost thirty years ago. Christine gives her special account of Zetty and Jaigee before and since Alzheimer's disease. She retraces humorous, touching and thoughtful moments with care. She makes observations that are spot on and startling to J Smiles. Ultimately, J uncovers a f...

Faced with an awful trifecta, J Smiles and Zetty must quarantine for two weeks with zero additional caregivers. The stress is compounded when Zetty returns from the hospital less healthy than when she went in. J has to throw old tried and true measures out the window and learn new tricks to get her mom's recovery started. J shares examples of hard learned "what works" and "what does not work" with grueling detail. J formulates new methods galore - medicine, food and hygiene. Be ready for a wide ...

J Smiles pours out her heart in this episode. Believing Zetty has a simple Urinary Tract Infection (UTI), she is forced to call 911. It turns out to be much more serious. The ER presents one obstacle after another as J tries to guide the staff on best practices and techniques to get Zetty to acquiesce to the many tests. Routine blood and urine samples become stressful, silly displays of the massive void regarding Alzheimer's disease awareness within the ER staff. Fortified by love, J fights to ...

J Smiles addresses the nightmare dilemma every caregiver faces sooner or later... whether or not to use 911 (or another emergency medical service). The decision is compounded by the dementia person's inability to communicate. J also touches on the elusive vasovagal syncope and Zetty's experience with it. As always, she uses love, levity and transparency to transport her listeners.

J Smiles' completes the two part conversation with Dr. Sandea Greene-Harris, neurosurgeon and caregiver. Dr. Sandy clears up a common misconception of dementia. The two share personal stories of prioritizing caregiving responsibilities. The laughs are infectious as they recount a few childhood memories from Montgomery, Alabama. This conversation provides raw insight and supportive methods to get through life as a caregiver.

J Smiles begins the two part conversation with Dr. Sandea "Dr. Sandy" Greene-Harris. Dr. Sandy was introduced to you in Ep 1 and now you get to hear why this neurosurgeon was uniquely situated to become president of Zetty's board of brain health. The episode centers on Dr. Sandy's positions as mother, wife, daughter, caregiver and surgeon. J Smiles asks poignant questions on balancing life as a sandwich generation ambassador. Dr. Sandy uses a soft-science approach and plain language to identify ...